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Canada's History

A horrifically depraved sex act involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. Usually performed by a tag team of Canadian Mounties on loose women from Saskatchewan. First brought to light by Stephen Colbert.
After going through Canada's History, the poor girl needed four months of therapy.
by Biggie132 February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

The act of covering your sexual partner's body with maple syrup while wearing moose antler hats and inserting the Stanley Cup into as many orifices as possible
Jen is so kinky, we did a full Canada's History all night long.
by Samsara22 February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

An obscure sexual act between distance lovers, so named after the lengthy and distant span of Canada's history. Two people using computer technology, or phones if you must, lie nude in a self-dug ditch, preferably in the woods, that has been well-urinated in. The technology is to maintain audio and/or video communication between the two lovers. While discussing the mating habits of woodland creatures, the couple masturbates furiously until achieving orgasm, at which moment they are to leap out of the hole and climb the nearest tree to its top. While the adrenaline is still fresh and powerful (like the urine) from the act, the lovers take a deep, slow breath from atop the tree. This links the post-coitus mates together through the power of nature, which smells and tastes like Canada's History.
When Johnny and Sally were apart, attending college in different states, they maintained their amorous attitudes toward each other by sharing Canada's History once or twice a week.
by Hans Van Dingo February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

When you perform a Boston Pancake, wrap the pancake around a sexual toy, freeze it, then insert it into a relative's sexual orifice. You must create a drilling motion with the toy and you must wear a Bigfoot suit.
Steve - "Wow did you see that Canada's History John gave to Mom yesterday?"

Jill - "Yea, I did! You know, I wanted to be her first, dang!"
by CRich_ February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

The most repulsive sex act known to mankind, involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.

1. Don't be a Noob, remember the lube!

2. Fill up woman with maple syrup by use of anal beer bong.

3. Store Stanley Cup in male's rectum

4. Woman must spray maple syrup from butt into Stanley Cup in the man's rectum.

5. Hollow out antlers to function as "crazy-fun-straw" to drink maple syrup from man's rectum.

6. Rinse, repeat, maybe switching gender roles.

7. Proceed to make sensitive, passionate love.
"Could you help me with the groceries, honey? I'm a little sore from when Condoleeza Rice gave me an in-depth reenaction of Canada's History yesterday."

"Sure, okay Dad..."
by KT151LN February 4, 2010
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Canada's History

A sexual game involving two or more people, where the parties involved mutually insert pieces of hockey equipment into the anal cavity. The game is played on a point system, where different pieces of equipment are worth different points. For example, a puck is worth 5 points and a hockey stick is worth 3 points for every inch that the receiving partner can insert into the anal cavity. If any participant is able to insert an entire goalie mask into the cavity, that person is automatically declared the winner.

Notes:
Personal lubricant is allowed for this game, as long as all partners are using equal amounts, and as long as the lubricant is maple syrup.

In Canada, the game is usually played with music from the band Rush and taped skits from the show SCTV playing in the background.
Tom was complaining of soreness after a long night of playing "Canada's History."
by NothingAsItSeems February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

A sex act involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
After me and Stacey did Canada's History, we couldn't look each other in the eye for days.
by tycoonius February 4, 2010
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