old computer

slow

when your friends are slow asf
unable to function

takes forever to catch on

Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer

by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018

computer dick

Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.

Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"

by Rockabee September 10, 2014

computer tourettes

This symptom occurs when a computer is too slow or crashes unexpectedly. The user of the computer becomes extremely agitated and starts madly clicking on the mouse and swearing uncontrollably.

When MS word froze, the author realized he did not save in the past 2 hours. Fearing that he would lose his work, he started to click wildly on the keyboard. When the title bar indicated (Not Responding), he suddenly developed a case of computer tourettes. Click, click %$#!@@?*&! Click, @$$!*&&$#@!

by La Femme Dorothy July 28, 2008

hand computer

That thing that you look at all day that is small and does a billion more things than a "phone" but you and all your friends call it a "phone" when clearly it's really a hand computer.

Hey how do we get to that happenin party?
I dunno man, lemme whip out my hand computer.
Your what?
Hand computer.

by Hottdiggidydog August 28, 2019

School Computers

They barely work nowdays.

We don't use Windows 7 (aka School Computers), we use Windows 10.

by ROBLOX #1 Fan November 12, 2018

hello your computer has virus

this is something what specifically an indian expert tech support caller would say and recommend downloading some file from an edgy website to help your computer run safely.

joe: Hello! my computer is not functioning properly, can you please detect the problem?
Tech Support Caller: Hello your computer has virus!!

by abondedspaghetti April 17, 2023

Computer

Similar to air conditioners. Works fine until you open up windows.

On second thought, air conditioners are better than computers.

by SquirrelMoose October 9, 2008