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simp contract

A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:

I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.

II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.

III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.

IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.

V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.

VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.

VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.

X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.

Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
by eyelidlash July 20, 2021
mugGet the simp contractmug.

hawks simps

First of all, who is hawks?

Hawks is the number 2 hero in the anime mha, he is one of the most talented, beautiful, smart, cute, sexy, perfect, delicious character to exist.

Second, what are the hawks simps?

Hawks simps are one of the most loving and caring person you’ll meet, they are so vulnerable and cute, they know everything about this man, no matter what you ask them, they know everything so don’t dare disrespect their mans or they’ll come for your soul.

Whether you kin, stan, or just think about this man...you are the most perfect version of a human, you scrumptious, delicious, beautiful piece of human..I respect you and love you :)
Hawks: who Is my little helper?
Hawks simps: it’s me I’m the helper
by hawkslittlehelper January 10, 2021
mugGet the hawks simpsmug.

Simping hair

When person's hair makes them a simp magnet. As a trendsetter is considered Stray Kids' Hyunjin.
Simp: "OMG! Have you seen Hyunjin's blond hair? He's just so hot with them!"
Anti-simp police: "This right here is a classic case of simping hair."
by idedicatemyentirelifetoJesus August 30, 2021
mugGet the Simping hairmug.

Simp Tuesday

Thus Day has been deemed the only day acceptable for simping. You may only simp on this day or you will be hung by your foreskin. Simping begin at 12 am.
Wyatt is a simp. Simp Tuesday is Wyatts favorite day
by DirtyDeimund April 20, 2020
mugGet the Simp Tuesdaymug.

Simp police

(1) A person who acts like the police to arrest simps. (2) A simp who is afraid that another simp will simp for the person they simp for so they "arrest" them.
"Man he acts like hes the Simp police or something."
by names-epicc June 6, 2021
mugGet the Simp policemug.

dick simp

a cringe simp that won’t leave you alone
taylor is a mad dick simp and he won’t piss off
by UncleBarry April 12, 2021
mugGet the dick simpmug.

Reverse-simping

The act of putting yourself down or devaluing yourself for the sole purpose of others complimenting and uplifting you.
That beautiful girl just called herself ugly again, she needs to stop reverse-simping!
by Itshimagain March 19, 2020
mugGet the Reverse-simpingmug.

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