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Aztec flicker gooning

A variation of regular flicker gooning (masturbating or "gooning" while repeatedly flicking the tip of the penis at a quick pace to achieve farther ejaculation), said to have been created by the Aztecs around 1300.

The Aztec flicker gooning technique was so effective that cumshots could reach distances of 100 to 500 meters. Some Aztecs, who specialized in this technique, could reportedly shoot as far as 1000 meters.

Not only was it capable of extreme range, but it also provided a level of pleasure unmatched by any other form of masturbation.

According to legend, Aztec warriors used this technique as a weapon, with their semen traveling at such speed and distance that it could heavily wound enemies upon impact.

Some believe that flicker gooning played a role in Aztec rituals, to summon or bring sacrifices to the gods of gooning and edging. Though there are not enough sources to confirm this for certain.

Unfortunately, after the European conquest of the Aztec Empire in 1521, all knowledge of how to perform the Aztec flicker gooning technique was lost.
"We learned about the Aztec Empire in history class today. Their gooning technique was wild. I wish I could learn the Aztec flicker gooning technique and shoot my load 500 meters!"
by Sir. Glizzy III November 15, 2024
mugGet the Aztec flicker gooningmug.

Giga-gooning

Verb: when your gooning addiction is eating up all the bandwidth so other users can't access wifi or it slows the speeds down.
Man, I can't stream Happy Gilmore 2 because Rinthen is giga-gooning in his room!
by anonymous August 4, 2025
mugGet the Giga-gooningmug.

Gooning

Gooning is a sexual philosophy/lifestyle that marries the concepts of tantric masturbation with a religious worship of porn. The principle behind gooning is that prolonged states of intense pleasure will lead to new thoughts and ideas.
"I had an eight hour gooning session last night and realized that I need to change my diet and start working out. That way masturbation and sex will feel even better."

"I listened to GoonerAudioLabs all weekend and I've never been more in tune with my sexuality."
by PUMPDRONE March 8, 2024
mugGet the Gooningmug.

Gooning Day

On January 13th, 2025 it is marked that it is Gooning Day and everyone shall goon once on this day per year.
"Yo bro it's Gooning Day, go goon!"
by psa1msss January 13, 2025
mugGet the Gooning Daymug.

Getting gooned

Getting gooned: To be legally “kidnapped” by 2 or more men/women (goons) working for a company your parent/guardian hired to take you to various forms of treatment centers (torture facilities).
1: “Hey, did you see the new kid? Looks like he got his shit rocked! Tough little son of a bitch
2: “Yeah. Guy didn’t know he was getting gooned at first so he swung on the first goon. He tried to catch his punch but the kid slipped and ended up hitting his head pretty hard.”
1: “What a fucking idiot!”
by Fuckmormoms November 17, 2023
mugGet the Getting goonedmug.

Pedo-Gooning

Scrolling throught the comments section on a child instagram reel.
I was caught Pedo-gooning behind the school sheds.
by AdolfJizzler June 2, 2024
mugGet the Pedo-Gooningmug.

Goon

1980s US slang for one who is not present or not to be taken considerably.
Don’t listen to that crazy goon!”
“Where is that goon?”
by J Manchester January 19, 2025
mugGet the Goonmug.

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