God's Douche

During heavy rain, one spreads their ass cheeks to the sky and douches themself with the rain; using God's tears to clean one's rectum.

I performed a God's douche in the rain storm the other night. It was super sick.

by cootercat03 April 10, 2021

Arctic Douche

Taking a squirty water-bottle outside on a cold day and cleaning your partners minge for her.

That Arctic Douche was going great until I queefed the water all over his face.

by Facecake July 25, 2009

Douche Bag

anyone who wears ED HARDY

Jon Gosselin is a douche bag.

by Badace19 August 24, 2009

Douche Bag

An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a low level of intelligence, behaving ridiculously in front of peers

"Did you see Shawn hitting on my girlfriend today like he thought he was the shit? What a douche bag."

by shawnrocks September 9, 2009

Douche Head

Somebody with a very dirty head, or a another name for somebody that is a douche bag.

Girl: Hey, how are you?
Guy: It's over bitch.
Girl: What?
Guy: Go raise our kid.
Girl: Your such a douche head!
Guy: Cunt!

by Dumper-Bumper Bandit September 30, 2009

Closet Douche

That one person who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into the illusion that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to the hatred of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.

guy: "God damn Bob is such a douche"
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."

by DD6969 January 19, 2010

douche-whisperer

A man who has all the inside knowledge of why douche-bags act the way they do. They are capable of helping women, Ex-girlfriends in particular get back at their douche-bag exs. They are rare, in fact almost unheard of. These men are usually attractive nerds and care for the well being of females, hence they get married to the hot ones. If a woman is having trouble with her man or ex. She should seek the advice of these truly unique men.

Morgan- "Why is my ex being a douche bag?

Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."

Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."

by Nomyar13 February 20, 2011