Keema & Masturbate Day

When Steak & Blowjob day goes horribly wrong...

Adam - "Did you get Steak & Blowjob last night?"

Tom - "No, I had Keema & Masturbate Day, unfortunately."

by Safali July 25, 2016

Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.

Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.

by Z_PW January 14, 2021

To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)

"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"

by anonymous January 14, 2021

Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.

A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."

by potatoman- August 31, 2025

Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.

Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.

by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022

masturbation

''Sometimes, uh, people are unable to find other people to partake in certain activities with, in which they will partake in those activities on their own. That, that is the definition-

(H: no it's really not.)

That is KIND OF the definition of masturbation. Ummm and that is all I'm willing to say''

Max (and Harvey) to Tilly in 13 again podcast

''It looks like you're masturbating.'' was said to Tilly. ''What is masturbation?'' clueless Tilly asked.

by hereforthefunsies January 3, 2025

masturbation formation

Circle jerk at military school

You ready for masturbation formation tonight? Laundry day is tomorrow.

by Momof4hmr December 21, 2020