Edward Cullen

1. FICTIONAL sparkly pansy vampire whose only purpose of being is to drop the panties of any girl dumb enough to actually think this fuck is romantic and sexy.

2. Stephanie Meyer's dream man. She fucks him in her sleep because she doesn't get enough loving from her family.

3. Abusive vampire thing who is apparently made of stone or marble or some sort of beautiful white rock.

1. OH EDWARD CULLEN, TAKE ME NOW BECAUSE I'M 13 AND STUPID!!!1!!1ONEONEONE!!11!1!1

2. Stephanie Meyer: TAKE ME NOW, EDWARD CULLEN! MARRY ME!!!!

3. Guy: "How'd you get that bruise?"
Twitard: "I was reading Twilight and I was just so turned on by Edward Cullen that I just HAD to bruise myself too! He's cold like marble, you know."
Guy: ".....I'm not fucking you ever."

by NinjaK October 20, 2008

jack edwards

one of the sexiest sports commentators there ever was. The way his voice flows into his mic is so damn hot. A major sex symbol to all- ladies and men. His alter-ego is Cam N.

dude, didn't you love the way jack edwards voice flowed last night?

by jackyeds❤️dano February 23, 2015

Edward Cullen

A character from the "hit" series of books Twilight. I personally only know a couple things about him, such as the fact that he defies all laws of vampirism. First of all, he walks in the daylight, he only feeds on animals (which apparently makes him a vegetarian vampire). 99.9% of readers of the Twilight books see him as the "perfect man." I see many problems with him. First of all is the fact that he isn't real, which most girls cannot get through their heads. Second, from what I've heard he stalked Bella, before they even started talking. I've also heard he is extremely jealous of every man who likes Bella. Last time I checked, the perfect guy wasn't jealous. Most girls talk constantly about how he's so sexy, which is kind of disturbing considering the fact that he's just ink on paper. People were saying stuff like that before they had a guy for the movie. Which makes it more disturbing.

Me: I'm so bored
Twilight Fan Girl: EDWARD CULLEN!!! AHH!!!
Me: Where did that come up?
Twilight Fan Girl: He's so sexy!!!
Me: He defies the law of Vampirism
Twilight Fan Girl: So?
Me: He's also just a fictional character
Twilight Fan Girl: SO!!! He Could Be! You should be more like him!!!
Me: Yeah it's so sexy how he bites your neck and you bleed it out on your bed.
Twilight Fan Girl: No he only eats animals!!!
Me: So its sexy when he bites your dog?

by DownwithEdward February 21, 2009

Edward Cullen

A one-hundred year old, abusive, sparkling fairy who sneaks into teenage girl's rooms by oiling their windows.

You: I woke up in the middle of the night last night, and Edward Cullen was sitting there watching me sleep!
Me: Oh my god, what a pedophile.

by pottergeek January 11, 2010

Edward Cullen

A sparkling fairy that wants to be goth or emo.

Wanna hear a joke?

Edward Cullen.

by KAGAMlNE February 9, 2010

Edward Pringles Hands

Pringles will inevitably become 40 oz cans to keep up with an increasingly heavy American public. When this packaging scheme becomes established the fattening game of Edward Pringle Hands will be born. Each participant will have a single 40 oz can of Pringles in each hand, secured with duct tape. The participants must then finish each can of Pringles before removing the tape. Obviously water during the competition is out of the question. Sprite only may be used as a source of moisture.

"Dude, we just got ten of the new Pringles 40's. Lets play Edward Pringles Hands. I call Sour Cream & Onion!" - Future College Sophomore

by imnotbusyatall January 14, 2011

Edward Ghetto Hands

Similar to Edward 40 Hands, except you use a 40 of Colt 45 and a fifth of Alize.

Me and my homeboy are gonna throw on some 2 Pac and have a thugged out Edward Ghetto Hands night!!!

by Cold Ass Honky Nigga April 13, 2013