Squidward 

Someone who doesn't take their job seriously and has a consistently negative attitude. A Squidward just wants to go home and is contemptuous of anything that may delay that for even a second, or force him to do any work beyond the barest of bare minimums.

The assistant manager at Domino's was kind of a Squidward, but at least he let us take plenty of smoke breaks.

Squidward by Sadie Enward August 8, 2025

Squidward torture porn

Any episode of SpongeBob SquarePants in which the character, Squidward Tentacles, is unfairly injured/stripped of any dreams or hopes for that episode for the sole purpose of him being Squidward and being the "bad guy" when in reality, he's the character we sympathize with. Also noted by an abnormally large IQ drop in SpongeBob or Patrick just for those episodes as well.

Fan 1: Did you see that new SpongeBob episode?
Fan 2: Yeah, it was a total Squidward torture porn.
Fan 1: I know, I felt so bad for Squidward!

Squidward torture porn by Yosuke Hanamura November 16, 2013

Squidward Tentacles 

The most inspiring cartoon character on television.

Why? Because Squidward never gives up on his dreams.

No matter how many times Spongebob ruins his day, he still continues to strive for a better one.

No matter how many times he fails at clarinet, he continues to play and try to get better so that he can one day become famous for it.

No matter how many rotten tomatoes get thrown at him because he is a horrible dancer, he continues to dance and shoot for the stars.

No matter how many times his arch enemy with the unibrow tells him he’s worthless, he continues to climb back up and try to impress him.

No matter how many paintings are rejected and unliked by people, he continues to paint because he believes he is a great artist.

That, my dear children, is dedication. I think we could all learn a little bit from good old Squidward Tentacles.

He has self confidence and never gives up on his dreams, which is something we can all learn from.

Squidward Tentacles

Squidward Tentacles by thiswilldie February 17, 2010

Squidward Torture Porn

Originally coined by Youtube Pooper "MoBrosStudios" in the early 2010's, and then picked up by The Mysterious Mr. Enter, a Squidward Torture Porn is an episode of Spongebob, where rather than actually tell an interesting humorous story, the writers fall into laziness and just decide to make Squidward's life a dry hell. In the earlier days of Spongebob, this formula was seldom used, and only when Squidward did something to deserve it. However after the departure of Stephen Hillenberg and all the other competent writers, these episodes became much more recurring, despite the fact that nobody likes them. These torture porns, though common, are not exclusive to Squidward. Anyone, even Spongebob himself, can be given these torture porns provided they either are in a benevolent mood, or just minding their own business. The best way to avoid becoming the subject of these torture porns is to behave like an unlikeable jackass, a skill that the formerly loveable Patrick Star has mastered.

Mark: I had to watch another new Spongebob ratings trap with my little brother yesterday.
Ben: How was it?
Mark: It was crap. Just another half-assed Squidward Torture Porn

Squidward Torture Porn by RabidBadger1632 July 16, 2014

Squidward Tennisballs

Squidward Tennisballs was a name Squidward Tentacles was called on the episode "The Great Snail Race" by the mailman

where delivery man call squidward tentacle SquidwardTennisballs

Delivery Man: Package, sir.

Squidward: A-ha! (Squidward signs a clipboard) I can’t believe it’s finally here! (delivery man hands him the cage)

Delivery Man: Here ya go!

Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. (hands him the clipboard)

Delivery Man: Thank you, Mr...Tennis Balls.

Squidward: That’s Tentacles! (slams the door shut)

SpongeBob: Squidward’s last name is Tentacles?

Patrick: Poor guy.

"Squidward Tennisballs

Squidward Tennisballs by Mr.Awesomeman1625273 January 11, 2011

Squidward Threesome 

A Squidward Threesome is a BDSM threesome involving two disobediant subs, or brats, and a dom. It involves the brats disobeying the dom’s orders, expecting to be punished, while the dom punishes them for mutual sexual pleasure.

I just had the greatest Squidward Threesome, man. I dominated the fuck out of those two girls.

Squidward Threesome by GingervitisDV October 1, 2017

squidward sex position 

When you put your balls on another's face and penis down their nose. Simulating squidward, from spongebob.

Me and Sally did the squidward sex position last night.

squidward sex position by Tyler12704 April 21, 2014