This shit is the farthest action that a child under God can do. While he waits to find a lady to take in marriage and get his dick wet all that he can do is dry hump the fucking soul out of the poor female. This typically happens when a boy of Jesus goes out for a night with the boys and gets completely bamboozled.
by Ethan Porteous May 6, 2018
Get the Christian Homerunmug. by Tibbins January 9, 2009
Get the Terry Christianmug. by Chrishoe March 2, 2016
Get the Christian whoremug. A creepy person who will make your live an endless soul crushing darkness wet and bleak and suffocating. He is also watching you.
by Cj233333 February 23, 2017
Get the christian jarrettmug. by onextruth July 6, 2004
Get the christian rockmug. The christian council is a pretentious group of over-bearing, holier than you, bigoted religious pricks which inhabits The Bahamas. Not onyl do they fidn it necessary to meddle in social affairs not concerning them (theyre trying to currently out-law homosexuality, because it is mentioned in a foot note in the bible, unbelivable, right?) but they also feel the need to meddle in politics, making sure that every Prime Minister in office, is not only overtly christian, to the point that it is sickening, but also that he will serve as their obidient lap dog, if anything life threatening, comes along, like, oh lets say... a gay cruisel ine should happen to dock here? (this happened once, and the stupid twats went to the dock and protested that they leave.....single most embarrassing day to live in this country throughout history....)
Carl: hey, i heard they banned across the universe from coming here?
Ben: Yeah, it was those christian council guys, thank goodness theyre protecting us from anything they deem unfit, im so glad they have our government in a strangle-hold. :)
Ben: Yeah, it was those christian council guys, thank goodness theyre protecting us from anything they deem unfit, im so glad they have our government in a strangle-hold. :)
by Jesus was emo. October 17, 2007
Get the Christian Councilmug. Someone who dresses in hip clothes and goes undercover to college parties, concerts, stoner smoke sesssions and bars to tell you how
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
dude 1:Hey brohan! Who was that dude you were talkin to? I wish I had fashion sense like him, straight outta GQ bro.
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
by MyDanceMoovez10 January 2, 2014
Get the Commercial Christianmug.