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Jonathan Safran Foer

J. S. Foer is a third-generation American-Jewish writer and so are all the characters he writes about. The worlds they inhabit, however, are fantastical, whimsical and full of war and sex, which, to Foer, are the deepest things there are as he is an atheist. He makes himself laugh in front of an open Microsoft Word document by typing phrases like "heavy boots" and "to have shit inbetween the brains" and "beating one's boner" and "dipshittake." He is married, which means he once had a girlfriend, which is surprising.

No, I do not have a girlfriend either, which is why I am on this site, making myself laugh in front of an open Internet Explorer Window.

His first novel was highly and almost ubiquitously acclaimed for its bravery, emotion, power, cleverness, insight, nobility, literary aesthetic, large paragraphs, typographical farts, and big words. These reviews made people who didn't review books confused, saying, often, "I thought it was really cool, but I didn't think it was...(quote from reviews here)."

Students of literature liked this book, because it was easy to interpret and write about at great lengths, and yet complex and open to different interpretations due to its abstractness of... not really symbolism, but something like that. Also, because it made them cry on every odd page and laugh on every even page.

His second was somewhat highly acclaimed because those critics who didn't hate it immensely felt awkward giving it a "OK" review in contrast to a terrible review.

These reviews made people who don't write reviews very confused about what they were supposed to like and what they were supposed to think was garbage.

Students of literature read this book and realized that Foer writes without any regard to meaning whatsoever, and are really upset that his work has been translated into over... what is it? Fifty languages? Seventy? because when the nuclear warhead drops on New York City like Foer thinks is going to happen, the people five-hundred years from now will have a copy of his second novel and think that that's the best that we could do.

derivatives:

Jonathan Safran Foery: (usually of a statement) clever in a way that makes one giggle as if on a lot of caffeine
Jonathan Safran Foer got a girlfriend and then lost his ability to write. I hope he'll get it back someday, because his first novel was sweet.
by glowoffirsttimethings September 4, 2008
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dome a joint

to smoke a fat ass joint to the face, or by yourself.
Yo, thanks for sparkin me up. I think ima go to da crib and dome a joint now.
by Lazzatti February 19, 2008
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jonathan cassin

An absolute stud. A Jonathan is ripped with bulging biceps and a defined six pack. All the ladies love Jonathan but are intimidated by his pure amazingness. A Jonathan Is very social and popular but also very easy to talk to. Jonathans also enjoy the best music as they listen to Xxxtentacion regularly. One of the best things about a Jonathan is how humble he is; even though he is exceptional at every sport and video game, he is never cocky and always kind. The sexiest Jonathan’s prefer to be called “Pigeon Boy”.
Girl #1 :did you hear about that kid who broke the weight lifting record?

Girl #2 : yeah his name is Jonathan Cassin, but he is way out of our league.
by Dust12341 May 5, 2019
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double jointed

She bends both ways sexually. They call her double jointed for liking both men and women romantically.
by moondance5 December 19, 2012
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Jonite

A person who worships Jonah Falcon because he has a 13.5 inch dick. Most Jonites only love Jonah because they have an obsession with dick. Jonites are often found with the guy in the room who has the hugest dick and would give anything to have sex with Jonah's living legend.
Angelina: Did you see Anthony over there with a boner I bet his dick is huge
Sandra: I'd love to ride that piece of meat.
Angelina: What about Chris' huge member over there? I need that in my mouth tonight.
Me (Thinking): You two hoes are such Jonites
by RoyalBish April 10, 2015
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Jonathan Stafford

supreme overlord of the ginger race and executioner of embaracing gingers (carrot top)

nicknames: the one with a soul, dat pif, red, fire, big red, clifford, red dread redemtion, johny blaze/human torch
did ya see shuan white win the olympics again he must really make you gingers feel proud...

ginger: na im more of a jonathan stafford fan... he gives me a reason to live
by sfjvk;dfbv;kfv June 19, 2011
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jointy

A synonym for cute,handsome,beautiful,etc. Also means the flyest,downright eye candy.
"Look at Susan,she is looking jointy today"
"Galvin is such a jointy ass white boy"
by Queen Pay September 19, 2015
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