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Filtered vending machine

Any woman who uses filters and angles on the majority of her pics to look doable but in real life she's big, heavy, chock full of unhealthy snacks, might make you happy for a little bit but you're never really satisfied and you'll just be ashamed of yourself later. In some cases the term "catfish" could be used if it wasn't actually the same person in a tweaked pic.
My date turned out to be a "filtered vending machine"
Even spam swiping the best I get are "filtered vending machines"
by BrigadereCensored November 22, 2018
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Swimming Sex Machine

This is when you take your girl to the beach, proceed to insert your penis into her vagina and while one, in sync you swim together and eventually find yourself in a riptide which makes it all the more fun. And after a certain amount of time the males penis becomes prune so it makes this activity a difficult one to pull off
Oh Max was a swimming sex machine!
by rozennn June 2, 2018
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bonk's meme machine

A godly figure, who mows down motorcycles.
Fuck, not again! Bonk's Meme Machine double boosted that fucking guy!
by Zacoochie August 13, 2019
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Soft Serve Machine

a soft serve machine is a device that is used to distribute ice cream which is used in popular fast food chains and is always broken at your local Mcdonalds.
"Sorry sir our soft serve machine is broke"
"Fuck"
by Wankeycheesefry June 17, 2017
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Human Washing Machine

A man who makes weird noises believing in fact, he is a human washing machine.
Is that a human washing machine in your house Dan?
Nah.
Don't lie to me Dan.
by Penncilvester January 31, 2018
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Hungarian vending machine

When you take a frozen snickers bar and insert into a woman’s vagina, and then proceed to eat said snickers bar.
“Bro, we had a 4 way with these two Canadian flight attendants last night, they were wild.”

“Oh nice dude! How was it?”

“It was nuts, I gave one of them the old Hungarian vending machine”

Hell yeah bro, was it regular or dark chocolate?”
by DAL to MUC October 25, 2019
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Machine Gun Shelly

A great boxer with so many skills who works very hard and tries her best to please everyone around her.
by Black doggy February 25, 2021
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