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Matthew

Matthew's come with such personalities but most are not that smart logically. They'll be smart in school but in some cases, smartness is not the best
Matthew: Oh that's like eating my dog's shit.
Person: Matthew I said, my grandma died
Matthew: uh yeah those are related
Person: *cries*
by PoppyThePoppy March 16, 2019
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matthew

that friend who takes all your fuckin dragon fruit thats so damn expensive because your poor and he knows that but he eats it anyway cause hes a fatass
stop eating my food matthew STOPPPPP
by decegggrs May 2, 2019
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matthews dick

When someone sees Matthews dick, all they can think about is a Tic Tac. You might even call it a 1 inch wonder
by The Random F*cker October 20, 2017
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Matthew

Matthew is a funny, charming guy that always loves just one person. Treats them amazing and is a really handsome guy. He is really athletic and smart. He could get any lady but sticks by one.
Do you see Matthew over there, man! He's smokin hot!!
by Daddyonthemike July 13, 2018
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Matthew 18

Noun: Matthew 18:15. "If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault."

Verb: To Matthew 18 someone is to make someone aware of their faults in a way that is both confrontational and obnoxious. Whether this person kissed your girlfriend, drank the last beer in your fridge, or simply sent you a game invite on Facebook , no transgression is too petty to Matthew 18 them. The most effective way of Matthew 18ing someone is to jab your middle and index fingers deep in their sternum while listing their offenses loudly in a public setting, such as a lunchroom, grocery store, or library. And since you are backed by scripture, you are justified.
Charlie used my bathroom and left some leopard spots in the toilet, so I Matthew 18’d the bastard.
by bigdanshooter September 7, 2014
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Matthew Thomason

A lad, normally from Yorkshire, who is an absolute prick and cheats on his girlfriend.
A term as an insult, usually.
Person 1: I saw that bloke the other week with a different lass to the one he’s with now.
Person 2: Yeah, he must be a Matthew Thomason or something.
by evillweevil July 13, 2019
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Twisted Matthew

Street name for the combination of naproxen (a non steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) and cyclobenzaprine (a muscle relaxant). This is new but increasingly common drug combination on the West Coast of the US). Original etymology is unknown.
"I hurt my back twerking, but it was nothing a Twisted Matthew couldn't fix!"
by Dr. Honeybear November 27, 2019
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