Murphy's Law of Internet-Speed

"The 'speed' of the Internet --- i.e., how long web-pages take to 'load' and/or respond to you mouse-clicks --- will be in direct inverse proportion to how urgently you need to view the desired material; the connection will be even slower at times there's someone else waiting for you who's also in a hurry.

My buddy needed me to hastily Google engine-bolt-torquing specs during an emergency-repair task he was struggling to get done before a downpour, but the Web was "slower dan molasses runnin' uphill in da wintertime" --- it was a classic "Murphy's Law of Internet-Speed" scenario!

by QuacksO July 28, 2018

Speed Daddy

When driving on the highway, wait for a passing car that is speeding, then follow behind them and maintain their speed. Leaving a gap between yourself and the speeding vehicle will ensure that if there is a cop ahead, that they will get pulled over and not you. This is your speed daddy, love your speed daddy, be a speed hoe.

Oh, I had a speed daddy on my way to Orlando, cut my trip in half.

by Razorbumps69 November 06, 2019

Need for Speed Carbon

A game where you race crew members on the canyons surrounding the city.

Wanna play some Need For Speed Carbon? It’s such a good game.

by Justicewithtacosandweed August 24, 2018

Spite Speed

When a car is going fast enough or slow enough to ruin your chance for a turn during a pause in traffic. Typically happens as a light is about to change so you get stuck waiting another ten minutes.

I was waiting for a chance to turn left, and this shithead was going spite speed and completely messed up my timing.

by Bom Tosley July 15, 2010

Punching the Speed Bag

(v) Masturbating. Whilst you masturbate, your hand may impact your testicles which share a similar shape to that of a speed bag.

After seeing those Sophie Howard pics, I felt the need to start punching the speed bag.

by Tman227 September 12, 2016

speed worm

An infant that won't stop squirming and wiggling to get where they want to go.

Baby Nina is a savage and won't stop trying to get across the floor. She's a speed worm.

by Jfeet August 09, 2021

anti speed

opposite of speed, a depressant

me: dont u get tired of sweating from adderal?
friend: yes i stink all the time and ac doesnt help shit
me: then try anti speed, u know like benzos, barbs, inhalants
friend: sure u got any barz?

by lilsamsixty9 May 31, 2021