Edward Cullen

A fag who plans to find over 9000 of the fangirls who masturbate to images of his shrimpdick and cum colored face and then fucks a gay cowboy and dies of AIDS.

And then he will rise from the dead and Anonymous will cut his penis off and then proceed to rub their genitals on his face and then set his faggot body on fire and the world will continue as it was before the fat Mormon who created the monstrosity known as Twilight became known to the current world.

Then the war on Hot Topic and emo children will once again rage on.

The end.
Prima: Edward Cullen is such a faggot.
Secunda: O RLY?
Prima: YA RLY.
Secunda: NO WAI!!11!
(Bricks are shat as Secunda then proceeds to divide by zero.)
by Afroduck's Sidekick February 16, 2009
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Edward Cullen

Edward Cullen is an idiotic 107 year old virgin who got his glowing crap from the Chernobyl accident, and should die!
Person 1: LIKE OMG, I'm not gonna marry until I find someone like Edward Cullen!!!

Person 2: I hope you like dying alone...
by Randomanzkid August 21, 2009
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Edward Cullen

1. A shiny, pedophile version of a vampire who neither sleeps in coffins OR turn into a bat or bat-like liquid.

2. A female version of hentai, except without the pictures.
Rick: "That Edward Cullen, man..."

Roll: "I know! He could get beat by Herman Munster!"
by TheBatFunk June 28, 2010
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Edward Cullen

n. person, Ed-ward Cull-en : A fictional character/ monster made up in the diseased imagination of an old, horny woman. He is said to sparkle when in the sun, for some odd, non- understandable reason. He is in the dreams of millions of teenage girls and their mothers. His followers are called Twi-hards, and are attracted to him by some telepathic connection, which makes them want a vampire, who writes bad poetry, as a husband. His fictional, worst enemy, is a werewolf, named Jacob, who has nice teeth (Many suspect them to be gay lovers). The fact or impression they are gay lovers is dashed by his love of 14-year old girls. Whom, he stares at while they sleep, with what many call in rapey fashion.
Twi-hard - "I got a message from "Edward Cullen" last night

Twi-hard 2 - " Really, what was it?"
Twi-hard - " He wants me to meet or turn me, I hope!"

Twi-hard 2 - "You are soooo lucky!"
Twi-hard - "I know!!!!!"
by Mr. Spam June 27, 2011
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Edward Cullen

--A sparkly demented fairy who is a creeper.
--Sparkly infuri
--Referring to a dumb, or stupid person
1. Omg, That Edward is such a fairy! I mean...he SPARKLES!

2. WARNING; You-Know-Who has made an army of infuri--Including Cedric Diggory, now by the name of Edward Cullen!

3. That guy is SUCH and Edward. He stared at me and then said a bunch of dumb pick up lines!
by Fire-Luv May 10, 2011
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Edward Cullen

EVERY.BOYFRIENDS.NIGHTMARE!!!
AKA
The hottest Vampire that will protect you and steal your girl
Twilight new moon

Bella: Were breaking up Jacob...
Jacob: Its cause of that bloodsucker huh?
Bella: Its always been Edward Cullen!
by Mrs.Cullen108 May 01, 2020
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Edward Cullen

He’s the kind of psychotic guy with many issues who sneaks into girls’ bedrooms to watch them sleep.

Apparently he suffers from a horrible disease in which he believes he is a “vampire”, yet also a 108 year old teenage boy.

As you can see, this very charming and handsome fuckboy will lure girls such as Isabella Swan to suffer from thinking she would rather die than be away from him.
Bella Swan: OMG EDWARD CULLEN IS SO HANDSOME!!!! Sksksksksk

Random person: wtf
by Kihara Pseudonym April 07, 2019
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