Columbia College Chicago is one of the largest art colleges in the United States with nearly 12,000 students pursuing degrees within 120 undergraduate and graduate programs. It is accredited by both the American Mickey Mouse College Association, as well as the National Goofball Institute for Easily Distracted Dilettantes. While not all Columbia students are stump dumb poseurs who are more concerned with style than substance and ability, the majority are, which is why the school has such a lackluster reputation. Individuals who enroll in mathematics courses at Columbia often find themselves crafting paper dolls and playing with Tinker Toys under the pretext of “geometry” exercises, and a random sampling of the work of writing students will reflect that a menu from the local fried chicken restaurant is composed with more eloquence and technical accuracy. Columbia College Chicago really needs to stop purporting to offer "an unparalleled array of programs of study with exceptional facilities in the heart of one of America's most dynamic and vibrant cities" and just come out and say it is the only place in the country where participating in an LBGT-friendly hula hoop contest while reciting Alkaline Trio lyrics and wearing a "Free Mumia" t-shirt passes for a senior research project.
Hi Jesse. Nice to meet you. I like your beard, nerd glasses, and hipster tweeds, by the way. Anyway, thank you for coming in on such short notice. We need to fill this position immediately, and you'll be happy to hear that the only other applicant is a 15-year old high school dropout who was recently emancipated from her parents. Right now, the only thing that I can imagine would preclude you from gaining employment with us is if you attended Columbia College Chicago. You didn't go there, did you?
by slippers man May 9, 2011
The trashiest Capitol "city" (more like an expansive, trashy town) in the United States of America. Home to almost as many homeless drunks as streetlights, this "gem" of the "south" houses an ever-increasing number of ghetto, uneducated, section-8-milking morons. While the "city" does have a (very) few nice neighborhoods, the majority is crap. Most people seem to be more concerned with how their car looks or sounds than the fact that they serve chicken over a counter for a living while attempting to support their many, many offspring. The laziness of the people is demonstrated by the endless tax services willing to rip people off of their tax returns, because they're either too lazy or legitimately too slow to comprehend how to file their own taxes. Cashiers are unable to split $10 cash-back into smaller bills without precise direction because they simply cannot do that math. Columbia embodies the fact that South Carolina has the worst public school system in the country. Any "southern drawl" is just a lazy term for how unbelievably lazy the people are. Any sort of customer service will make you want to burn the company to the ground, and if you can understand half of the dialecting that the majority of the population adapts, you'll be lucky that you were able to get directions from someone to the person that can point you to the person that might know where the manager of the Walmart that you're standing in is, so that they can point you towards the item you're looking for.
Steve: Why don't any big events or tours stop in Columbia, South Carolina?
Brian: I don't think they want to be endlessly depressed by the people and the state of the city.
or
Steve: Oh no, I have to travel to Columbia, South Carolina for work.
Brian: Make sure you take your little brother's beat up car, and make sure you lock it. If you do both of those, there's a chance that someone actually won't break into the car and steal your seats.
Brian: I don't think they want to be endlessly depressed by the people and the state of the city.
or
Steve: Oh no, I have to travel to Columbia, South Carolina for work.
Brian: Make sure you take your little brother's beat up car, and make sure you lock it. If you do both of those, there's a chance that someone actually won't break into the car and steal your seats.
by Feline Fister April 28, 2013
A competitive swim team in Columbia, Maryland. The team is divised into 2 groups where mostly young swimmers are, ages usually 7-10 I think............ Then there are 6 Age groups I think there may be more but each group is expected to be able to swim a certain amount yards and show good examples of trying hard in practice as well as meets. Then there are the top 3 groups Juniors, Seniors, and Senior Elite. Swimmers in the Juniors group are usually ages 12-14 and are able to swim 500 yards without much discomfort. They must show examples of leadership, hardwork, integrity, and give support to their fellow swimmers. Seniors are usually ages 14-16 I think.....I don't know because I'm not in that group. Anyway they must be able to swim 700 yards without discomfort, show integrity, attend practices reguraly, show support to fellow swimmers, push themselves to their limits and should try some of the harder events in swim meets. Lastly are the Senior Elites these people are selected by the head coach and must fufill the head coaches certain standards in order to be in Senior Elite. These are the swimmers that you should look up to and take advice from to get a advantage in swimming, these are the fastest swimmers in the team. They have a rigorous exercise schedule that promotes excellence. You should be proud of yourself if you get to this group as you acheived something not many can do. These swimmers must be able to swim exquisitly long distances without discomfort, be perfect role models to younger swimmers, must show dicipline when and attend practice probably 99.9 percent of the time, The Senior Elites are the people you should be afraid of and intimidated if your racing in one of their events as they show no mercy and always go for it ALL. Columbia Clippers practice at the Supreme Sports Club in MD, as well as the Swim Center. The head coach is Jeff (I don't think I'm allowed to put his last name) if you want good tips or help on your swimming skill this si the guy to go to. Another Coach you should look out for is Coach Mark as he usually as some pretty decent tips on maximizing the effort you put into your practices. Coach Jeff and Mark also like to joke around with each other and like to occasionally like to bother a swimmer called Gilbert(Jill-bear) is how you pronounce it. Its a name of french origin, if you are interested in swimming, and want to consider "Going for the Gold" or want to swim in the Olympics, this is the team you should go to.
Newscaster: In other news the swimming community was shocked to see a swimmer beat Michal Phelps in the 200m butterfly, apperantly this swimmer is said to have gained his swimming skill from a swim team known as the Columbia Clippers.
by Taylor, Samuel January 23, 2008
A school operated by a few rich families, and you get graded off of a forced and/or faked relationship with the cult and where the politically left and right clash under the guidance of the Adventist cult
are you going to Columbia Adventist Academy? No, i dont enjoy the rich people grading me off of my relationship with a deity and being insulted by a certain staff member :(
by Official_JoeBiden October 7, 2022
school full of retards, shit stains on the walls, sharing the building with 3 other schools & i learned more racial slurs than math skills but they “affiliated with Columbia” so parents send their kids here. ☠️
by ♏️ 𝖘𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖕𝖎𝖔 𝖌𝖆𝖓𝖌 ♏️ May 4, 2023
Mission, British Columbia Is a much funner and hipper place than Abbotsford, British Columbia. They have silver city, the scientifically coolest place to watch movies in the known universe!
Abbie: Abbotsford, British Columbia is way better than Mission, British Columbia!
Josh: That's plain wrong! Missions, British Columbia is the best, most fun, safe, coolest, and best place in the Fraser Valley!
Josh: That's plain wrong! Missions, British Columbia is the best, most fun, safe, coolest, and best place in the Fraser Valley!
by lilnasx2 April 25, 2019
by Chs anonymous December 5, 2016