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Fig Newton

A mediocre guy either in looks, personality, or both. And although he is average in every way, he thinks he is basically Ryan Reynolds.
While they may stay fig newtons forever it is possible for them to transform into something…like an Oreo…..or even a chocolate chip cookie.
While they are rare, fig newtons can also be female.

Examples: Jeff and Lester from the TV show Chuck
Dwight from the office.

Frollo from Hunchback of Norte Dame
Farquad from Shrek
Prince Charming from Shrek 2
Hans from Frozen
J’son (Starlord’s ‘Dad’) from Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice (honorable mention Mr. Wickham)
Yeah, we talked a bit. But, he was a bit of a fig Newton so I’m not interested.

Oh, nah! He a fig newton.

He got that fig newton haircut.

He talks like a fig newton.

He was the figgiest of newtons.
by notafignewton March 26, 2022
mugGet the Fig Newtonmug.

Newton Abbot

A large market town in south Devon inhabited by drunken Londoners and Chavs. The town became a shithole in the 1980s after Dr Beeching closed down the town’s railway works. Every street is full of Charity shops, Turkish barbers and takeaways. Large communist and Fascists movement has blighted the school’s.
Hey man, is their a place more chavy than Birmingham?”

“Yeah, it’s called Newton Abbot”
by Baconflavouredcrisps December 25, 2018
mugGet the Newton Abbotmug.

Newton titties

N breast that pendulate on a radial axis and when one is acted upon by force as to set in motion in such a way that it collides with the other subsequently transferring the force or kinetic energy to the adjacent breast. Basically swinging tits that emulate newton balls. Typically found on sporty older women (gilf type) that cruise braless in bars.
Damn Ron, look at the Newton Titties on that old lady, now that's kinetic energy at work!
by Jellubuiscuit August 27, 2013
mugGet the Newton tittiesmug.

Newton street

Probably the most undeniably filthy and horrible place to be in Sydney, a little street at the back of Redfern in Eveleigh loaded with housing commission, filled with ice, needles, junkies and lowlife scum in general.
Let’s cut through that back street there!

No that’s Newton street fuck that!

What’s wrong with that?

Nah, haven’t you heard? That’s the place to get rolled, my mate got bashed for his wallet the other day there by a pack of ferals!
by PigRap1st September 26, 2019
mugGet the Newton streetmug.

Newton's Fatal

When you are double penetrating with your best mate, and your balls collide with one another, like a Newton's Cradle.

Instead of demonstrating the conservation of momentum and the conservation of energy, the collision of the two hairy ball bags sets off a catastrophic reaction, in turn causes the receiving party of said penetration to inflate like a blow up doll. This is due to the uncontrollable amount of semen created by the Newton's fatal.

If you are unable to visualise the inflated party in this scenario, it's fairly similar to when Violet Beauregarde turns into a Giant Blueberry. Although, the mass of the seminal fluid will ground the person in question, preventing them from floating up into the atmosphere
Melanie won't be in work today, she's suffered a Newton's Fatal.
by JBunnie February 16, 2022
mugGet the Newton's Fatalmug.

NEWTON FORD

The act of inserting a fig newton cookie into the anus of a sex partner prior to anal intercourse in the back seat of a car. If the cookie survives the act intact, it is usually referred to as a ford newton with cream.
Occasionally, to save money, we just go for a drive and have a newton ford for dessert.
by El Fuego Verga February 18, 2010
mugGet the NEWTON FORDmug.

Newton Balls

When a man's two testicle collide within the scrotum resulting in a painful feeling. Much like that desk toy with the swinging balls.
Why'd you stop running?
I have Newton Balls
by Gordonopus September 5, 2010
mugGet the Newton Ballsmug.

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