Alaskan McGuyver

The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of lubricant of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a comfortable heat level and consistency for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn.

Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.

We got the first snow of the year tonight. My hands are so cold I'll have to pull an Alaskan McGuyver before I fire up pornohub.com.

by nancyscrew April 19, 2018

Alaskan flounder basket

While you and your significant other are making love, and she/He proceedes to give you a glow job with his anaus directly above your chest giving you a perfect view for the "show". Then right before you orgasm your partner gloriously defecates all over your face and chest.

The other day daisy gave me an Alaskan flounder basket, and it was beautiful!

by ASK ME WHY June 13, 2017

alaskan toilet paper

Alaskan toilet paper is when you take a nasty ass shit and flatten it out with a rolling pin and freeze it and then use the frozen shit patty to wipe your ass after you take a shit

"fuck im out of toilet paper, looks like im going to have to make some alaskan toilet paper

by blakesmittty June 21, 2017

alaskan ziploc

Shoving ice inside a woman's vagina

Rosie wanted to spice up her sex life, so she let her boyfriend perform an Alaskan Ziploc on her

by germanpenguin May 6, 2018

Alaskan Pipeline

Alaskan Pipeline - (performed by 2 men) When 1 man shoves a glass pipe into his Ass. "Inserts" a small pet Hamster and or Gerbil into the tube then backs the other end of the tube into the other mans Ass, while reaching around and stroking eachother while the gerbil runs back and forth. Then when one of the men are about to climax they remove the tube and feed it to the gerbil.

Alaskan Pipeline - Dude I could totally go for an Alaskan Pipe line right now!

by Sweatfinger May 7, 2018

Alaskan Loogie

During a blow job, at the point of climax the male pulls out and ejaculates up into their partners nose. The partner then snorts and spits out the ejaculate.

True story dude, my girl was being pain last night, so I surprised her with an Alaskan Loogie.

by PHD. Mike Hunt March 6, 2018

savage alaskan

When your significant other shoves snow down your pants, promptly swipe it through your ass cheeks and splat her on the forehead

We were outside smoking a cigarette and got a snowball down my pants, so I gave her a savage alaskan

by ThePelvicPunisher March 14, 2018