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Fuck an old fucker but you cant shit an old shitter 

You can have sex with an old sex partner but you cant bull shit an old bull shitter.
Grandpa looks down at his grandson after he tells a hella of a lie and tells him grandson you can "Fuck an old fucker but you cant shit an old shitter", go tell that bull shit story to some younger generation because I'm not buying it.

Ah Fuck I can't believe you've done this 

Expression of anger after someone has annoyed you
"Ah fuck I can't believe you've done this Barry why did you break my mum's lamp."

He's a bitch, selfish fuck him killurself you're fucking retarded 

He's a bitch, selfish fuck him killurself you're fucking retarded
He's a bitch, selfish fuck him killurself you're fucking retarded

Fuck A Fucking Duck You Bitch 

To Want To Fuck, But Not Fuck A Random Stranger. ;)
"Go Fuck A Fucking Duck You Bitch, I WANT TO FUCK YOU!"

get the fuck on before you're shit the fuck on 

See also: get the fuck on and shitted on.

A slang phrase meaning, "If you don't hurry up and do something, you are gonna miss out." or "If you don't do this, you are gonna feel like a dumb shit (like you've been 'shitted on')and regret it later."

Note: 'before' can also be shortened to 'fo' for a more urban slang feel.
Tom: Man, I wanna go get that O of kind bud dude accross town was gonna sell me for half price, but I'm so lazy I don't feel like driving.

Greg: Dude, you better get the fuck on before you're shit the fuck on! Are you fucking retarded?

fuck off chelsea you ain't got no history 

A saying used in a council estate known as 'Liverpool', to suggest that their football team is still worth playing for.

Liverpool is a football team, who had a lot of success in the 70's and 80's, but as of late, has won nothing, and the dust is starting to gather in their trophy cabinet.

It is also noted, that the history 'Scousers' often refer to, also includes getting English teams banned from the European Cup between 1986-1990, because of their involvement in the Haysel tragedy, in 1985.
Bin Dipper: "Fuck off chelsea you ain't got no history"

Chelsea Fan: "Actually, we have 106 years of History, but more importantly, we have a future, and we have your Torres!"

Sign on, sign on, with a pen in your hand, and you'll never work, again, you'll neeeee-verrrr work, again