When you flush an extra long shit and as it spins down, the tip stands up straight, breaching the the water like the Loch Ness monster head emerging while the body is hidden underwater.
Loch Ness Monster- I took a shit so long that when it spun down the tube the tip popped out above the water looking at me like the lock ness monster.
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Chef's dad
Say, would you kids like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?
Stan
No, that's okay.
Chef's dad
Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.
Chef's mom
We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"
Thomas
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-
Chef's mom
Oh, it was so scary!
Thomas
and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty." a long silence follows
Kyle
What's tree-fitty?
Thomas
Three dollars and fifty cents.
Chef's mom
Tree-fitty.
Stan
He wanted money?
Thomas
That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"
Chef's mom
I gave him a dollar.
Thomas
She gave him a dollar.
Chef's mom
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.
Thomas
Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!
Say, would you kids like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?
Stan
No, that's okay.
Chef's dad
Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.
Chef's mom
We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"
Thomas
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-
Chef's mom
Oh, it was so scary!
Thomas
and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty." a long silence follows
Kyle
What's tree-fitty?
Thomas
Three dollars and fifty cents.
Chef's mom
Tree-fitty.
Stan
He wanted money?
Thomas
That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"
Chef's mom
I gave him a dollar.
Thomas
She gave him a dollar.
Chef's mom
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.
Thomas
Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You give him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!
by SilverSheilds October 6, 2022
Get the Loch Ness Monster mug.A maneuver commonly used by octogeneratic lesbians during the act of scissoring wherein their voracious labias slap feverishly together in a rhythm that is handed down their ancestors. In the event of a successful joining one lesbian will be selected as the Alpha lesbian sheerly based on the deepness of tone made during suction.
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