A website which prides itself as "America's Only Humor Site" most often featuring some very interesting topics presented in a list form with a humorous outlook. While a great place to learn facts and be entertained, with a nice hint of benign satire, the writers of Cracked.com are starting to take things too far.
While these subjects may be quite interesting and informative , topics such as "5 Uncomfortable Truths About Rape on College Campuses" and "8 Terrifying Life Lessons From a Former Terrorist", do NOT belong on "America's Only Humor Website" despite how many little jokes they use decorate them so that they can remain funny while actually being deadly serious. What also doesn't belong on "America's only humor website" is pretty much all of the writer's preachy and one sided liberal bias, which causes the reader who doesn't share the exact same views to rather feel alienated and demonized by the writers WHOSE JOB IT IS TO HUMOR THEM NOT INDOCTRINATE THEM and also their many commentators many of whom only read Cracked.com because "Americas Only Humor Website's" idea of satire caters to a sense of humor (the "only humor") that suits their own views.
While these subjects may be quite interesting and informative , topics such as "5 Uncomfortable Truths About Rape on College Campuses" and "8 Terrifying Life Lessons From a Former Terrorist", do NOT belong on "America's Only Humor Website" despite how many little jokes they use decorate them so that they can remain funny while actually being deadly serious. What also doesn't belong on "America's only humor website" is pretty much all of the writer's preachy and one sided liberal bias, which causes the reader who doesn't share the exact same views to rather feel alienated and demonized by the writers WHOSE JOB IT IS TO HUMOR THEM NOT INDOCTRINATE THEM and also their many commentators many of whom only read Cracked.com because "Americas Only Humor Website's" idea of satire caters to a sense of humor (the "only humor") that suits their own views.
CRACKED.COM: "America's Only Humor Website" (DISCLAIMER: If you do not believe in Feminism, abortion, gun control, same-sex marriage or cannabis legislation, abandon all hope of ever writing for us. Don't read our articles. Don't contact us. Don't subscribe to our feeds. Cracked.com is a safe space on the internet for tolerance and from being judgemental of people towards their views, their educational background and their race.*)
* "Almost every republican is a white lower to middle class undereducated person from the south,meaning a majority of them range from stupid to dumbfuck stupid."
*" Republicans - The far right: stubborn gun wielding anti-abortion homophobes who want to run this nation."
(both copied and pasted from the opening lines of two different Cracked.com articles about republicans.)
* "Almost every republican is a white lower to middle class undereducated person from the south,meaning a majority of them range from stupid to dumbfuck stupid."
*" Republicans - The far right: stubborn gun wielding anti-abortion homophobes who want to run this nation."
(both copied and pasted from the opening lines of two different Cracked.com articles about republicans.)
by stingingpaininthebrain December 29, 2014
Get the Cracked.com mug.The bitch's crotch crickets were so bad, her gynocologyst had to call Orkin, just to get a "pap" smear......
by moon doggie April 27, 2003
Get the crotch crickets mug.Related Words
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• jimety cricked fucked
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• cracked out
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• crickey
• crickety
(n.) (pl.) A term that often refers to the most advanced stage of pubic lice. However, Sabretooth Crotch Crickets (SCCs) are a seperate (but related) secies.
SCCs are found in the pubic region of exceptionally promiscuous females and males (human). While shaving and intense washing can sometimes lower the population of an SCC nest, SCCs have never been known to disappear completely within the host's lifetime. Hosts often fail to realize the severity of their condition before the number of SCC's around/on their genitalia number in the high teens or more.
SCCs, occasionally described as miniature Hercules Beetles, have proportianlly large pincers; however these can vary in configuration from cricket to cricket.
When provoked (rough sex will do it), SCCs often emit a low-volume hissing or buzzing sound to warn of a painful attack (the onset of this sound is in fact when many affected people first realize that something is horribly wrong down south--otherwise, SCCs do not usually draw attention to themselves and can be quite reclusive). This sound is regularly exaggerated by people unfamiliar with SCCs, because it's damn funny if someone else has them but you don't.
SCCs are found in the pubic region of exceptionally promiscuous females and males (human). While shaving and intense washing can sometimes lower the population of an SCC nest, SCCs have never been known to disappear completely within the host's lifetime. Hosts often fail to realize the severity of their condition before the number of SCC's around/on their genitalia number in the high teens or more.
SCCs, occasionally described as miniature Hercules Beetles, have proportianlly large pincers; however these can vary in configuration from cricket to cricket.
When provoked (rough sex will do it), SCCs often emit a low-volume hissing or buzzing sound to warn of a painful attack (the onset of this sound is in fact when many affected people first realize that something is horribly wrong down south--otherwise, SCCs do not usually draw attention to themselves and can be quite reclusive). This sound is regularly exaggerated by people unfamiliar with SCCs, because it's damn funny if someone else has them but you don't.
Dude #1: "Yeah, I'm going over by *girl's name*'s apartment tonight...I think it's gonna be a wild time..."
Dude #2: "Don't do it, seriously! Tony told me he was gonna hit that sheeit one time and there wuz SCCs all up in it"
Dude #1: "What the ? are SCCs? You just playin' right?"
Dude #2: "I thought you knew...it means Sabretooth Crotch Crickets, man! Back off the nasty 'tang, bro!"
Dude #1: "Aw DAMN! I thought I was gonna git me some tonight...thanks for the heads up though."
Dude #2: "Don't do it, seriously! Tony told me he was gonna hit that sheeit one time and there wuz SCCs all up in it"
Dude #1: "What the ? are SCCs? You just playin' right?"
Dude #2: "I thought you knew...it means Sabretooth Crotch Crickets, man! Back off the nasty 'tang, bro!"
Dude #1: "Aw DAMN! I thought I was gonna git me some tonight...thanks for the heads up though."
by O May 3, 2004
Get the Sabretooth Crotch Crickets mug.A combination of shiver me timbers and jiminy cricket. Used when someone is very confused and surprised at the same time. Thus leading them to confuse the sayings shiver me timbers and jiminy cricket.
by Yacht Captain July 21, 2011
Get the cricket me jimbers mug.Back Cracking is to have rough sex that disorients the person or gives them extreme pleasure.
To have your back cracked is to have rough sex.
To have your back cracked is to have rough sex.
She had her back cracked last night and won't be able to come to work today. ( She got some bomb dick that fucked her up so good she can't even work today)
by MSBN July 18, 2016
Get the back cracked mug.quite possibly the most fucking ridiculously exaggerated and stupid way to describe a very minor head injury, such as a tiny cut.
Bill: -hits head on wall
Mandy: dude, wtf did you do that for?
Bill: AW MAN I'VE CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN -shows pointless 'injury' off to friends. GUYS, LOOK I CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN
NO. THAT'S JUST A CUT. I COULD CAUSE MORE INJURY TO YOU WITH MY ARSEHOLE.
Mandy: dude, wtf did you do that for?
Bill: AW MAN I'VE CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN -shows pointless 'injury' off to friends. GUYS, LOOK I CRACKED MY HEAD OPEN
NO. THAT'S JUST A CUT. I COULD CAUSE MORE INJURY TO YOU WITH MY ARSEHOLE.
by crocodileyeast July 29, 2010
Get the cracked my head open mug.3/4 of Fulton, Missouri. A female who wears short shorts, cowgirl boots, and will blow anyone with a lifted truck or SUV. Often found in trailer parks, mud holes with guys that are "like brothers" or lying about hunting. Listens to Luke Bryan and Jason Aldeans shitty brand of "country" music, claims Sam Hunt and Florida Georgia Line is decent and claims shes not a whore but gets passed around like a bottle of crown.
Dude I took that mud cricket to the woods and she acted like she didn't know what to do, then she gave me herpes.
by smalldick96 June 3, 2016
Get the Mud Cricket mug.