Jesus

A nice guy who taught love, kindness, tolerance, etc. Sacrificed himself because we're all giant penises. Now people claim to follow his teachings, but just screw them over.

Oh look, there's Jesus over there! The world's gonna end.

by Poop N Scoop July 19, 2005

Jesus

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

"OH MY GOD, IS THAT JESUS?
"YES MY SON, NOW BEND OVER"

by CODELAZARRRRRRRRRRRRRR April 14, 2019

jesus

Jesus of Nazareth, also known as Christ

The greatest, purest, wisest, and nicest liberal to ever live.

If George W. Bush is the greatest conservative ever, and Jesus the greatest liberal. I guess that makes George W. Bush the anti-christ.

by independent July 3, 2006

Jesus

The guy, whom most Christian girls are overjesused about.

Sandra: I love Jesus SOOO much. He is my friend!

Kate: Yes, so is mine! I really love Jesus.

Tom: You should probably find some REAL friends, gals...

Kate & Sandra: -______-

by Xfing May 27, 2009

The Jesus

Someone that nobody fucks with.

"Nobody fucks with The Jesus!" - The Jesus

by shnoogins07 December 20, 2008

Jesus

Probably was a really top bloke who lived 2000 years ago. On the level, talked sense, encouraged everyone just to get along with each other.
Murdered by the authorities who saw him as a threat.
Now worshipped as the son of God.
Closest modern day comparisons would be John Lennon or Martin Luther King (both also murdered).

"Jesus was a black man
No Jesus was Batman"

Shaun Ryder - 1995

by Manx Bloke July 13, 2007

a jesus

Something really amazing that someone did.

Boy: "I got 98% on that test about the economic revolution in southern Russia during the time of Stalin's rule, even though it was supposedly really hard and everyone was freaking out about it, especially that one girl with the really ugly hair. Christ, she's crazy."

Boy 2: "Oh shit man! That's a jesus right there!"

by Awoo September 22, 2006