This is an arts-n-crafts project with scissors so don't let the kiddies try this one. Everybody has or has had "the girl next door" at some point. Take an empty resealable bag of Splenda, cut a hole in it for your shaft, ring the girl's door bell and when she answers, say, "Hey, can I borrow some Splenda? I'm all out." Once the last letter of "out" leaves your mouth, open the bag and reveal the prize inside. Your day should now get exponentially better. :)
He had been talking to this chick his whole life because he lives next door to her. So, he finally grew a pair and gave her (or pulled a) Splendid Splenda.
by Dr. House Call August 4, 2010
Get the Splendid Splendamug. A non-addictive version of the drug known as cocaine which was made from cocaine and through scientific measure was remedied of all its bad side effects like "the drip", "a bad taste", and has no "come down" after the high effect wears off in usually an hour per dose. Nicknamed "the Perfect Drug" in 3042 A.D. because scientists could find no harmful effects to humans. Renegade pirate time travelers thought it a brilliant idea to smuggle the drug back in time to 1998 A.D. and market it as an artificial sweetener, since it also had no calories and could sweeten anything, leaving it readily available and cheap to fellow time travelers who knew enough to sniff it rather than eat it to get the high.
"How do you know Skrillex is from the future?"
"Because I saw him snorting lines of Splenda... and have you heard his music?"
"Because I saw him snorting lines of Splenda... and have you heard his music?"
by Fairy Godmutha March 1, 2017
Get the SPLENDAmug.