by golfytiger August 10, 2018
Get the split pea soupmug. Where someone acts arrogantly/annoyingly "pious 'n' preachy" ("I'm as honorable as a parson!") when publicly interacting with others, but is in reality a totally selfish/dishonest jerk in his private actions.
I somehow can never develop much respect for some highfalutin nose-in-the-air who claims to be a religious fanatic, but who also cannot appropriately handle even a simple moral-question situation --- talk about a split parsonality!
by QuacksO August 7, 2018
Get the split parsonalitymug. by jellyeditor April 4, 2022
Get the Chain Split Linemug. Act of a person taking a banana and inserting it in their ass. Their parter is ready with a bowl of ice cream for when orgasm is reached and banana shoots onto the ice cream. It is considered rude to not eat the Nashville Nanner Split once made.
by 4IdiotsNGarage August 3, 2022
Get the Nashville Nanner Splitmug. by emynset July 19, 2019
Get the Banana Splitmug. Josh: Hey Cass, I want you to give me a split bongo.
Cass: I’m gonna slap your bongo so hard you’ll burp
Cass: I’m gonna slap your bongo so hard you’ll burp
by Elevatedsack March 27, 2024
Get the Split Bongomug. A predictive algorithmic structure used to determine the probable outcomes of ranked online video game matches by analyzing complex, non-linear sequences in historical match data. The Jovian Split identifies statistically significant clusters in performance trends such as, team skill composition, recurring causes of defeat, opponent behavioral variance, time-of-day performance shifts, and geographically-induced server-side team configuration mismatches. It relies on stochastic modeling and probabilistic inference to surface outcome patterns that repeat under specific conditions with exceptional predictive power.
In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
"The team’s sudden 5-win, 7-loss, 10-win streak isn’t random — it’s a classic Jovian Split forming, triggered by roster consistency and repeated exposure to the same match pool."
The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.
by xr100rr July 8, 2025
Get the Jovian Splitmug.