Monkey Jon is a verb for when you lather/bathe an old person in oil and push them down a hill at top speeds.
Old Man Parkisnsons was Monkey Jon'd by some school kids last week. Now he's in the hospital with multiple broken bones and a concussion.
by NateDog23 March 19, 2021
Get the Monkey Jonmug. by Fortnite1234 April 15, 2021
Get the Jon sturtzmug. Jon is a man of great substance, and a teller of tales. Jon would sit on his porch surrounded by the vagrants of the world, telling tales of small butt plugs he maneuvered and McGuyvered in times of need; tales of the seedy underbelly of dildo factories, and tales on how to get a free hamburger on a Tuesday, to name a few.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Jon was performing oral on a cross-eyed woman who could see straight immediately after reaching peak ecstasy.
by Frodo Hoofenstein March 18, 2024
Get the Jonmug. A man who has saved everyone from the depths of despair. He serenades you as you sleep, and smiles while you wake. God has gifted this man to us. Let us bow our heads in prayer.
by Greg Heffley the real one March 8, 2022
Get the Jon Seccombemug. by dobronxfan44 April 23, 2024
Get the Jon jonesmug. Being a Jon is when your gay friend will blame you for being homophobic. When actually he is just being a dick.
by THE SUSHI MASTER October 29, 2019
Get the Jonmug. Jon Stewart on Kilmar Abrego Garcia on The Daily Show: "Can I honestly tell you? Like, this isn't even really...the thing that's...like, they're fucking enjoying this, like the two of them: our president, their president, "I can't do it. I guess we'll just have to let him rot in fucking prison, even though he didn't deserve to be there." I know you guys don't care about this guy–I'm talking about these two–" {Donald Trump (USA) and Nayib Bukele (SLV)} "–but somebody else cares about this person, and you just randomly, with no evidence that you'll show anybody, call him a terrorist."
by 7568ino April 20, 2025
Get the Jon Stewartmug.