Turtle cake

A Turtle Cake is when a man has a small penis that is also uncircumcised that resembles a frightened turtle and is put between the ass cheeks of an unsuspecting victim, thus the turtle is between the cakes.

I would love to give her a turtle cake while she’s not looking.

by River.01 March 4, 2019

Turtle Bunny (Jashawn)

Is probably the best fucking thing to happen to me. He is my turtle, my husband, my everything, my bunny and everything i need when it comes to the relationship were in. Idk what I'd do with out him but i fuckin love him so fuckin much. Nun of u ppl will ever understand. I love love love him & cant wait till we eventually become 1. Cant wait till we become a family and many more things thats gonna happen in the future

"Whats a turtle bunny (Jashawn)"

"Oh juss my boyfriend"

by Sadae March 16, 2019

Turtle-bite

When a man is peeing and he pinches his balls in his belt buckle but cannot remove them straight away because if he does he will end up missin the bowl and pissin everywhere. He just has to endure the pain until his piss is over.

I just got a heavy turtle-bite over behind those bushes. Ow, fuck!

by Crackpotslingshot May 14, 2019

Turtle Shock

When you fuck your girl turtle style and she can't walk for 24 Hours

I gave my girl turtle shock

by LAGOUT July 20, 2019

Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

Turtle dogging

The same concept as prarie dogging and having a turtle head poking out, just combined into one phrase. A chance to drop both bombs at once.

'For breakfast I ate a kale salad, a bag of baby carrots, a can of beets and a ginger apple smoothie. I just drank a strong coffee, took a bump of coke and a drag of a cigarette and now I'm turtle dogging the most epic schwoop poop ever.'

by Bubblegumblue January 3, 2020

tattlesnitch

A mother fucker that is a blend between a tattletale and a snitch. New England is home to the biggest tattlesnitches in the world. Don’t sleep on a tattlesnitch, because they will totally blow your cover.

The old bastard slept half of the 12 hour shift, so we had to all tattlesnitch to the boss.

by OshOte January 25, 2020