jon is a name
by jonlikegay November 21, 2021
Get the jon mug.Jon is a man of great substance, and a teller of tales. Jon would sit on his porch surrounded by the vagrants of the world, telling tales of small butt plugs he maneuvered and McGuyvered in times of need; tales of the seedy underbelly of dildo factories, and tales on how to get a free hamburger on a Tuesday, to name a few.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around.
Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards.
In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail.
The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure.
Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail.
Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way.
On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
Jon was performing oral on a cross-eyed woman who could see straight immediately after reaching peak ecstasy.
by Frodo Hoofenstein March 18, 2024
Get the Jon mug.a boy who thinks he’s a big tough man and has lots of tattoos. has a beard that he thinks is the most amazing thing in the world. laughs like spongebob but is actually a really sweet, loyal guy and is consistent with his behavior
by theladyjanedoe April 15, 2019
Get the Jon Capz mug.A religious non coed college in Jerusalem israel, referenced by this name by some members of the ESP program (English speaking program). Very cheap college tuition and high academic level, very difficult courseload depending on the degree and beit midrash learning in the morning.
friend 1: How’s the Jon
Friend 2: they forgot to print out our tests in English and then postponed our test till the next semester and changed the format of test to be different then the past ten exams of previous years without informing us before the exam.
Friend 1: what can I say, it’s The Jon
Friend 2: they forgot to print out our tests in English and then postponed our test till the next semester and changed the format of test to be different then the past ten exams of previous years without informing us before the exam.
Friend 1: what can I say, it’s The Jon
by Scarredautism May 24, 2024
Get the The Jon mug.When working conditions have reached maximum absurdity and emails are sent to God and country far and beyond that persons level of employment and purchasing power. When someone sends a hate laced email fuled with discontent and rage to get as many reactions as possible so that even the smallest infractions are looked at with a microscope from that point on.
by NurseBriBri October 27, 2022
Get the Jon Grammes mug.Being a Jon is when your gay friend will blame you for being homophobic. When actually he is just being a dick.
by THE SUSHI MASTER October 29, 2019
Get the Jon mug.Jon Stewart on Kilmar Abrego Garcia on The Daily Show: "Can I honestly tell you? Like, this isn't even really...the thing that's...like, they're fucking enjoying this, like the two of them: our president, their president, "I can't do it. I guess we'll just have to let him rot in fucking prison, even though he didn't deserve to be there." I know you guys don't care about this guy–I'm talking about these two–" {Donald Trump (USA) and Nayib Bukele (SLV)} "–but somebody else cares about this person, and you just randomly, with no evidence that you'll show anybody, call him a terrorist."
by 7568ino April 20, 2025
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