dead on my own schedule

When you make plans to do something with someone else, but when the time comes you're still asleep.

"Thanks, Karina. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. Now, go to sleep, we leave tomorrow."

You wake up, and head to Karina's room. She's still asleep.
"Karina," you say, shaking her by the shoulder.
"Huh? Wha? Huh?" she says, waking up.
"It's time to go. We're leaving today."
"Finally. I'm fucking dead on my own schedule."

by Fizar June 12, 2020

Smash Schedule

The time between meeting a girl and when you engage in sexual intercourse with her.

Guy 1: I really want to get with this girl
Guy 2: Yeah you should get with her by least this weekend or she's out of the picture.
Guy 1: I want to! It's in my Smash Schedule!

by jRob917 October 29, 2011

Schedule

Juan owns the word “schedule”

I have a very busy schedule tomorrow

by ANiggaWithABigDick April 19, 2023

The Schedule

The Schedule is an oppressive form of authority that forcefully presides over your life. Most people have to be on some sort of a schedule. People in prison have it really rough in terms of the schedule, students in school are under the oppressive tyranny of the schedule, and people at work are forced to abide by the schedule. It's very rare that someone won't be required to follow a schedule. Sometimes wealthy adults get to not have to follow a schedule.

What the schedule is is a list of times and places you have to be. It is literally the radical opposite of freedom. Some people willingly attempt to plan out their lives, which invariably results in having a schedule. People like me are aware of it and avoid schedules at any and all costs. At work I have to follow a schedule, but when I'm off, I'm free. To hell with the schedule. Imagine, blocks of time where you legally are required to be OR ELSE, even if you DON'T WANT TO. It's essentially slavery.

Bottom Line: Never plan shit out if you aren't required to. You will be sorry. If you are in school, you'll be free eventually. If you are at work, you might be getting off soon. Stand tough, burn the schedule.

At Graduation:

Jill: So Bill where are you going to college?
Bill: North University, you?
Jill: Foxcreek. Now that we've graduated and don't have to follow the schedule, do you want to set it on fire with me?
Bill: Sure Jill! Let's burn the schedule!

by Space Wrangler August 6, 2021

Scheduling

What idiots try to do who don't understand and take heed to the classic idiom "Man Plans and God Laughs". If you don't understand this phrase, it means there's no use in trying to plan out your life, because invariably there will always be things beyond anybody's control which will destroy the plans you tried to make. Scheduling is a popular thing that these idiots try to do. They literally carry around these little bags with their belongings, among which is their "planner", as they attempt to set dates and times for when something has to happen, and in the process they make themselves less free and less available date by date until all of their time has been willingly stolen from them and they are on a self-imposed schedule.

"Let's talking scheduling...can you do Friday November 15th at 3:30 PM?"
"Well I was going to try and get out early so I could get drunk and high and enjoy my weekend."
"Riiiight, but I need to talk to you about important matters at that date and time, and it's the only date and time around that time that I can."
"Fine I understand."
"Oh wait, I'm sorry, I have a business meeting at that time, can we do 4:30?"

by Space Wrangler August 20, 2021

Brock Lesnar Schedule

Getting paid millions of dollars to work less than three weeks a year.

Did you hear wrestler is requesting a Brock Lesnar Schedule with his next contract? If anybody has earned it, it's him.

by Egadgo November 22, 2022

Leap Schedule Day

On February 29th, wake up an hour earlier than normal, and then sleep an hour earlier than normal.

Tomorrow is Leap Schedule Day.

by godlylaundrymachine May 13, 2022