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A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand

A blowjob is worth the value of two handjobs. Frequently used in negotiations by cheap hookers. Not to be confused with the meaningful expression involving birds and bushes.
HOOKER: "Okay you got two blowjobs and half a handjob, that will be $4.50"
DUDE: "What? That's a bit steep, I thought you told me a handjob was only a dollar!"
HOOKER: "Its fair. A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand"
by fgsdfsq November 4, 2014
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talk to the hand

the person who says this to you is telling you not to talk/disturb her. Brilliant but rude
'Hey can I ask you something?' - 'Talk to the hand!'
by ira September 4, 2003
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a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand

You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.

C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.
by Shuaman December 13, 2016
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talk to the hand

She didn't want to hear his excuses and told him to "talk to the hand."
by Nitewing \'98 September 2, 2003
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Three in the Hand

Poker game variant related to Omaha Hold'em, widespread in Hispanic groups and introduced to Anglo groups in Baja California, Southern California, Northern Mexico, Texas and Arizona.

Players receive four private cards, three of which must be combined with two of the five community cards on the board to form a poker hand . Hence the name "Three in the Hand"

By comparison Omaha or "Two in the Hand" as it in sometimes known in Hispanic communities uses just two of the four private cards to combine with three of the five community cards on the board to form a poker hand.

Betting occurs after the initial deal of four cards, after the three card flop, after the turn card and after the river card.

Like Omaha the game is often played with a high low split. Local rule variants may apply to to qualifying the low or allowing any low even pairs. Some groups require that you declare low, high or both by placing none, one or two chips in your hand at the showdown. If you declare both you must win both not just one.
Juan couldn't keep up we where switching between: Texas Hold'em, Omaha Hold'em, and Three in the Hand. He kept misreading his hand and tapped out early.

We play Omaha and "Two in the Hand", in "Two in the Hand" you have to declare like in "Three in the Hand" otherwise they are the same game.
by Mike the Monger October 21, 2009
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Verb
1. The sexual act of jerking off with one hand, and pushing your balls into your girlfriend's muff with the other.
"I was with my GF the other day, and I gave her one in the hand and two in the bush.
by Kidlover69 July 26, 2014
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A puke in the hand is worth two in the bush

Referring to the fact that when you're out drinking with your friends, it is twice as hilarious to see someone puke in their hands (preferrably so everyone can see) as it is when said person makes it out of sight to puke (like behind a bush).
That was embarrassing the way you puked in your hands at the bar last night, but you know what they say, a puke in the hand is worth two in the bush.
by SHQCKEY October 5, 2011
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