Texas Parachute

A technique where a used, prefferably lubricated condom is slapped upon an unsuspected face.

" Man, Devin was so drunk that Josh just walked right up to him and gave him the old Texas Parachute."

by fat freddie December 27, 2009

Monkey Parachute School

One of the lost Bert Reynolds movies. Made early in his career the film is based on a true story of how the British trained monkeys as bombers during the second world war. The monkeys used to have explosives either strapped to them or around their necks. They would parachute out of a plane, land on enemy soil and them run into bunkers and buildings before setting off the bombs. It was seen as a key strategy in the British removing several men of power in Berlin.

The film stars many young actors and Bert Reynolds appearance as a pilot is short lived (he ends up being mashed by a jet engine). The film failed to make any mark at the cinemas and has been restricted to late night television showings on small satellite channels. The film is famous for the lack of one important thing.. Bert Reynolds doesn't have his mustache in it!

Bert: Monkeys! What the sodding hell do they know about parachutes.
Capt. England: More than a washed up fighter pilot.

by Jessop August 8, 2005

Salty Parachute

When semen is ejaculated and floats gracefully towards the ground.

Usually performed from a height.

Guy 1: "One time when I was on holidays. I was doing my best doggy style with this bird on a balcony, I pull out, shoot the business over the edge and it floated down like a Salty Parachute"

Guy 2: "No you didn't!"

by LobsterMoxie July 25, 2018

Speed Parachute

When someone blows speed up your anal orifice.

The playmate I dated stuck a speed parachute up my ass once without really letting on to what she was up to and holy fuck I was a chunk of granite and must of pumped a few quarts of chowder out whenever she decided I should. That was one fucked up fuck fest. Mostly in the kitchen.

by Sam Moj November 30, 2021

rusty parachute

The act giving a rim job to a female while she is on her period. You quickly pull on the tampon string removing the tampon. Then you throw the tampon up in the air and yell " bombs away" hopefully hitting the female on the decent.

After I did the rusty parachute to his mom, it looked like a murder had happened.

by phizzion January 1, 2010

hairy parachute

When a man stretches his scrotum to its limit and then jumps from a certain height and then floats down softly onto the face of his waiting partner.

My wife anxiously waited on the bed while I climbed the wardrobe, with my expanded scrote in both hands, to attempt a perfect hairy parachute descent and landing.

by DC.Kerr June 7, 2007

Pittsburg Parachute

Act of turning a used condom inside out and emptying the contents in your partners mouth.

James dropped his load in a Trojan and then gave Gino a Pittsburg Parachute.

by Dick Shrivels November 2, 2007