murphy's law

Shit happens.

I always fail to capture that damn roadrunner thanks to Murphy's Law, and all those defective, shitty ACME products.

by Wily E. Coyote September 24, 2003

Murphy the Jawn

Aggressively turning over and chugging a beer as fast as you can while holding the can with both hands

Would you like to Murphy the Jawn?
Yes, let’s Murphy the Jawn ridiculously hard.

by jjacav13 July 8, 2021

Murphy's Dog

One who can give it, but can not take it.

I heard you tried to punch someone when you were rat arsed Saturday night, missed and fell over and cut your head. Ha ha ha

You can talk, what about the time you got a hiding and ended up in A&E with stitches left, right and centre. Ruining christmas for everyone... Ha ha ha

Thats not funny ya prick, I nearly died....

Ah, shut up ta fuck, Your Murphy's dog.

by ScubMeister General March 8, 2009

Murphy's Load

Married men know Murphy's Load well. Murphy's Load refers to the times when you've secretly masturbated and for an inexplicable reason, within hours, your wife is all over you, despite a huge dry spell leading up to jerking off.

"I jerked off because I couldn't take it anymore and suddenly she was all over me. This is known as Murphy's Load."

by Foobie April 14, 2004

Murphy Law

"When something can go wrong, it will go wrong"
- Murphy

I missed my date beaucse of the fucking Murphy Law

by Boy Bros May 12, 2004

Murphy Bed That Dick

When you’re having an intense game of backgammon and the mother fuckers are taking too long to finish it, you quickly slam shut the backgammon set on dudes dick like a Murphy bed.

“You’re taking too long to finish this game, Jim” said David. “I know but we’re almost done and we can ride scooters to dollar general.” Jim quickly replied. “Good because in 5 more minutes I’m going to Murphy Bed That Dick.”

“Oh man, I better hurry!” Jim cried.

by DJ Nipslip July 16, 2021

Murphy's Locker room Law

When you select a locker in an empty locker room, the next person coming back to their locker will be right next to yours. If they happen to enter at the exact moment you're putting on your underwear, then their locker will be on the opposite side of you and they'll have to shuffle by uncomfortably close.

Me: (putting on underwear in the locker room)
Next guy: oh hi, I need to slip past you to get to my locker; hope you don't mind.
Me: No problem; it's Murphy's Locker room Law.
Next guy & Me: chuckle chuckle chuckle

by Grute Man August 27, 2017