Dude #1: “Did you make it to the toilet in time?“
Dude #2: “Yeah, even had enough time to get naked. Took a real Comfy Dumpty.”
Dude #2: “Yeah, even had enough time to get naked. Took a real Comfy Dumpty.”
by thesundancekidx October 10, 2020
Get the Comfy Dumpty mug.This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
by Stoney69 December 18, 2020
Get the Humpty-Dumptied mug.One partner puts an egg (uncooked, in the shell) up their butt and the couple goes on a date. If the egg breaks, the partner with the egg gives head to the other and if it doesn’t, the other partner retrieves the egg and makes breakfast (after giving head).
by corub69 January 7, 2024
Get the Humpty Dumpty mug.A Reverse Humpty Dumpty is a man whose head is shaped like that of an egg and who also has very little or no hair on their head BUT they are rocking a rather thick beard.
by XxOwOxX July 25, 2022
Get the Reverse Humpty Dumpty mug.by Shum Egg October 24, 2023
Get the Shumpty Dumpty mug.A dumpty is a sweet and calm animal (most likely a dog but could be a rabbit or a gremlin in disguise). Dumptys are the sweetest animals in the world and they never bite, bark, or shred things because they are so calm. Dumptys love their master and are protective. They protect the house during the week when they sleep in the living room and they get rewarded with cuddle time on weekends for their good work.
by JustCallMeCute August 7, 2016
Get the Dumpty mug.When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it
Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty
Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?
Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?
Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
by BirdKibble July 25, 2022
Get the Humpty Dumpty mug.