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The Turnip

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A satirical news paper written and produced at and about Ball State University.
Person 1: Hey are you reading the Daily News?

Person 2: Hell no. I'm reading The Turnip.
by BSUTurnip May 20, 2011
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Mash the turnip

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When a man tries to have sex while his penis is flacid.
Marty was doing very well with Elizabeth throughout the evening, though because he was too drunk, when it was time to make love, all he could do was mash the turnip.
by The Intangible June 21, 2011
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Dumb. Stupid. Implying that you've been isolated from the world (on a turnip farm).
He understands what you're saying. It's not as though he just fell off the turnip truck.
by Shminka May 28, 2016
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Todd the Turnip

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an absolute mad chad lad sad fad dad brad
"yo did you see Todd the Turnip?"
"yes. i have been enlightened"
by ArtieBrick May 17, 2021
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tickled the turnip

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'Jane was bored and so pulled up 50 shades of grey and tickled the turnip."
by Iloveturnips May 31, 2017
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to slip the turnip

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when one’s conscious abilities are altered into delirium due to oodles (a great quantity) of alcoholic beverages.
to slip the turnip ex. “God! Zoe really slipped the turnip when she started throwing cuscus out the apartment window in Morocco.”
by Dolores Harrell July 27, 2022
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