The Grinder- First discovered on a Doom
3 demo, is the
god of all
grinding machines. It is basically a cylindrical
pit with a catwalk just overtop of it. Only half of the pit is visible, as the other half is covered (it is a rather shallow pit). This cylindrical hole in the
floor has two rotating arms of great mass that rotate at sonic velocities from the center, sort of like a misshapen giant
food processor. Countless monsters can be spawned in the grinder only to see the arm sweep them underneath the covered section, and the same arm emerging with nothing but a bloodstain.
The grinder, after being discovered, became the primary method of producing Noobioes, The Breakfast Of Champions. The process is simple- all the noobs of the
world are captured in their
gaming sessions and MS-DOS prompt "hacking" sessions and are thrown simultaneously. When the grinder is turned on, all the noobs become something like ground
beef, and they are then removed and turned into little 'O' shaped cereals. The grinder is truly an amazing device that is not to be taken lightly - however, if wrenches or chairs are mistakenly thrown into the grinder, jamming and
lag are sure to ensue- so be careful on the types of noobs that are thrown into the grinder.
"I heard
Gerald got turned into noobioes"
"How did that happen"
"
Simple, he was
thrown into the grinder on the Doom 3 demo."
"Well, he has been turned into something useful! The breakfast of champions!"
