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Absolute-slowness 

The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.

It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"

*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*

Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
Absolute-slowness by asteroth February 24, 2010
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slowness 

used on its own... if it takes a while for someone to get something... Slowness!!!
slowness by Nameless July 21, 2003
Related Words

slowness 

When a girl gives a guy a blowjob. Usually described with a hand motion in the lower region of one's body
She gave me slowness last night (with hand motion)
slowness by OT herb June 26, 2009