The ancient, lost Book of the Stupid. Written and given over to humanity by He-Who-Is-Unutterably-Dense. The tome was bound in the skins of ancient bananas. Legend tells us that only
the greatest idiots may open its covers without losing every iota of intellect they ever bore. The mind of any other will be blasted to drivel. Fortunately, this leaves most of planet Earth's current inhabitants perfectly safe.
The Moronicon may be opened by the utterance of three
magic words, spoken in any order, but these words are so stupid that the author has given you the
benefit of the doubt and spared your intellect (as it were).