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Straight Doorknob

you're as gay as a Straight Doorknob
what the fuck? that doesn't make ANY sense.
yes it does, it's a working oxymoron, watch this: Have you ever seen a doorknob that's NOT round and bulbous?
yes... so what?
what angle was it pointing at?
I don't know I didn't fucking measure the damn thing.
Doesn't matter! If it's got an angle to it it ain't straight.
Straight Doorknob by TPaine1979 November 28, 2010
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Straight as the inside of a doorknob 

A phrase used to indicate that yourself or someone you know is straight.
I'd never kiss Greg man, I'm as straight as the inside of a doorknob!