Pawnhandler

1. One who handles pawns well, but stinks at dealing with knights, bishops, rooks, kings, and queens.

2. A priceless addition to any forum.

3. A fountain of wisdom and guidance.

He's such a Pawnhandler at chess, but we like him anyway.

Let's go see what Pawnhandler wrote today!

That guru is such a Pawnhandler; we're lucky we found him!

Pawnhandler by wise guide August 7, 2008

panhandle behavior 

Acting as one who lives in the “panhandle” area of a state. Specifically murdering people close to you without any reasonable expectation of getting away with it.

Did you hear about Junior? He got arrested for shooting his wife in their home. Claimed it was a burglary gone wrong but it seems like classic panhandle behavior.

panhandle behavior by sarahsfunny May 17, 2018

Oklahoma Panhandle 

A seemingly impossible feat of human anatomy in which a midget is coated from head to toe in ranch dressing. The midget is then adorned with a frying pan on the head to be used as a hat when making headway. Finally, and most painfully, the midget is forced up into the rectal region of a female human, tears out the ovaries, and wears them as a pair of antlers.

A:Hey man, my neighbor just got an Oklahoma Panhandle
B:No way! what happened to her bro?
A:The doctors ran out of stitches!!
B:Oh shit !

Oklahoma Panhandle by Eatingkillingshittingmachine October 25, 2009

Panhandle Behavior 

Murdering people close to you without any reasonable expectation of getting away with it.

No plan, no plot, just I'm going to kill her and when they ask me if I did it I'm going to say nope and then maybe that will work. Panhandle behavior at its finest.

Panhandle Behavior by DeadInsideButStillPretty May 17, 2018

Panhandle Flapjack 

The sexual maneuver whereby, whilst penetrating a female anus from a rear-entry position ("doggystyle"), the female utilizes the slack skin of the male's scrotum to stimulate the vulva and clitoris in an act of manual masturbation.

I was stuffin' my girl's dumper like a thanksgiving turkey when all the sudden she grabbed my coinpurse and gave herself a panhandle flapjack.

Panhandle Flapjack by The panhandle flapjacker January 3, 2010

Panhandle Cap 

Panhandle Cap, originally a fictional character created by American author Nicole Moody, is now a euphemism for a person who represents any conglomeration of rural American and Western cowboy stereotypes, typically infused with one or more of the following characteristics: 1) a distrust of modern technology, social norms and politics; 2) a tendency to mask hostilities towards certain classes with alcoholism; 3) an inability to differentiate between adults and young children in everyday conversation.

My neighbor is sort of a Panhandle Cap because he tried to give my 8-year old son a whiskey sour in exchange for playing with his toy rattlesnake.

Panhandle Cap by McGee Hotro December 14, 2008

Puerto rican panhandle 

The act of cumming in the hand of a latino.

Joe got so drunk on margaritas he Puerto rican panhandled a migrant worker while leaving a tip at cozumels last night.

Puerto rican panhandle by Scrotto Saggins November 19, 2012