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Beachmaster 

The king hippopotamus. He runs the beach. The other hippos can't even go to sleep until Beachmaster does first. Now and then a younger hippo will challenge Beachmaster to a fight. If the challenger wins he becomes the new Beachmaster. However Beachmaster always wins. After victory Beachmaster will fornicate with a woman of his choosing. His favorite pastime is eating sausages from the sausage tree, which blossoms once a year. He is also very protective of his fellow hippos. When a hippo dies, Beachmaster will protect the corpse from hyennas, lions, crocodiles, or whatever. However if he's hungry he will eat it himself. The bottom line is that Beachmaster is the shit.
Beachmaster killed Johnny after he lied down first.
Beachmaster by Wifflemaster July 16, 2008

Benchmarktard 

An asshole so consumed by benchmark results, that this is the only thing they know how to talk about, with no regard as to how no one else gives a shit.
That dude is such a benchmarktard, he does this ever fall when new GPUs launch!
Benchmarktard by Klaatu9898 August 27, 2018

bitchmasta

pimp who fuckes all his girls.
That pimp has so many lovers he's a bitchmasta
bitchmasta by Scott December 10, 2003

benchmalarkey 

When small changes in an ajacent piece of code result in reproducable and statistically significant changes to the outcome of a synthetic benchmark, even thought the benchmark does not evaluate the part of the code which has changed.
Looks like benchmalarkey, better try enabling -mbranches-within-32B-boundaries.
benchmalarkey by Helban Nels June 14, 2022