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Hector The Time Travelling Midget 

A man from the year 2098 who was much different than the rest of the people at that time, for he was only 3' tall. Everyone else in the world was at the shortest about 5' 2". This troubled Hector cause he was always picked on and people would throw him around much like a football. It being the year 2098, time travel had already been invented about 23 years ago. Hector thought about using time travel to change history so that there would be more short people like him. After acquiring the means to travel through time (which cost him $18.75 on Ebay), Hector travelled back in time many times, but was always thwarted in his attempt to make more short people. After many attempts Hector finally travelled back to the Primordial Soup. The goo that started all life sat before him. Sitting and pondering what to do to change history, Hector came up with the grandest of schemes. "Ah ha!", said Hector. "I will contaminate this ooze with my own ooze.", Hector shouted with glee. After an intense one and a half minutes of self gratification (Everything is shorter for midgets), he dumped his load into the soup causing a mass fusion of his "little" genes into the normal genes. After many eons of Evolution, thanks to Hector's deeds, we have been blessed with many small creatures. This is how the Pterodactyl became the chicken. Its how the shark became the goldfish. Its also how we got actors like Verne Troyer. No one knows what happened to Hector. My thoughts are that since he fucked with the timeline he never came to be. Poor, poor Hector. All this to make a friend and he never even existed. The moral of the story, I guess, is to not throw hair dryers into the bathtub.
Dude 1: "Man I hate that show Little People Big World. Who the hell came up with that shit?"

Dude 2: "Its all made possible because of Hector The Time Travelling Midget."

Dude 1: "Damn you Hector, damn you."

the time rapist

A man who is cursed to endure the epic random journey through time... raping those who willingly or unwittingly break the sacred laws of the space-time continuum.
Dang! I think I've just been visited by the Time Rapist.

give the time of day 

To salute someone, like a neighbor or an acquaintance. To acknowledge someone.
"He's so arrogant he won't even give the time of day".

Behind the Times 

When someone finds out new news only to find out that it's fairly old (originally from Super Milk Chan).
Person 1: Did you hear about the Prince of Persia movie?

Person 2: That news is from late LAST YEAR.

Person 1: Oh, well I didn't know.

Person 2: You are so behind the times.

Ass the Times

To express discontent with events either in the past or present.

'Ass the times'... that were
-OR-
'Ass the times'... that are
1. I fucking hate myself for losing my best friend years ago! Ass the times!
2. I lost an awesome eBay auction today. Ass the times.
Ass the Times by volcanobakemeat November 11, 2011

Waste on the time 

An expression in Modern Hebrew meaning that something is extremely fantastic or cool. Ironically, the meaning of this expression is the exact opposite of a former expression that meant that something is so bad it would be a waste of time regarding it at all.
Did you see this Kusit ("good looking girl" in Modern Hebrew). She looks waste on the time.
Waste on the time by Kalisky May 13, 2005