Customer Service 

WE CLOSED!

Hey, i'd like to order some food.
......We closed.
But the sign says you're open 24 hours!
......WE CLOSED!!!

nice customer service, bitch..
......WHAT!
nothing!

Customer Service by Happyfunball79 August 27, 2009

Customer Appreciation Day 

First Tuesday of the month is Customer Appreciation Day at Safeway. Sometimes called Super Tuesday.

Dude, customer appreciation day is tomorrow, going to buy me some groceries.

Customer Appreciation Day by TheMan08 March 27, 2008

customer-patient 

In the U.S.A., a person seeking non-emergency medical service must first provide proof of insurance and pay money before being examined by medical personnel.

Customer-patient: Help, I've chainsawed my fingers off!

Register Operator/Triage Representative: That'll be 50 bucks.

customer-patient by Jojo Kimberly July 19, 2017

Customer Service Call 

Try to start and finish masturbating before the customer service rep answers the call. Owing to the "extremely high call volume." Said company is experiencing.

I was on a customer service call yesterday. Finished 2x before the lady answered the call.

Customer Service Call by Thesexyasian June 11, 2019

Customer Logic 

Throwing all reasoning out the window and being the stupidest fucking moron you can humanly be.

It operates under three basic principles:

1. Complete lack of accountability (even actively refusing to take any)
2. Complete lack of empathy (i.e. sociopathic behavior)
3. Unwarranted self importance (i.e. severe narcissism)

Formal logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: if you park on No Parkin areas, you get a parking ticket.

Customer logic:
Premise 1: person parks on No Parking area.
Premise 2: person gets a parking ticket.
Conclusion: OMG IT WAS JUST A FUCKING MINUTE I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST STARBUCKS TO DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THEIR MANAGER AND ASK FOR FREE LATTES FOR LIFE BECAUSE THEY SHOULD'VE TOTALLY WARNED ME ABOUT IT AND WILL SUE EVERYONE BECAUSE MY PARKING TICKET IS EVERYBODY ELSE'S FAULT.

Customer Logic by MrDanteSesma December 16, 2019

customer service machine 

Somebody who supplies exceptionally high levels of customer service throughout the day

Bro have you seen him? He's like a customer service machine!

customer service machine by Michael CSM September 7, 2020

Customer Splaining 

When a customer is trying to explain the job better than the person providing the service.

Customer Splaining: The customer, customer splained how to do my own job.

For example, a customer telling you how to make a latte, when you’ve been a barista for 5 years.

Customer Splaining by Local barista August 8, 2023