holy monkey fuck 

Holy Monkey Fuck
/hoh-lee /muhng-kee/ fuhk/

noun (adjective)
1. A phrase or exclamation uttered by a shocked individual after reading a text message from one of their friends who may be drunk-texting them, trying to express an idea or thought, but actually has no sense of order and has said nothing.

Jim: Sandy, did you read that text from Mike?
Sandra: Not yet. Give me a second…….

Message from Mike via text:
“Last time I try to do that with 3 different cities can the long arm of the law done crushed me smile to a cinder”

Sandra: HOLY MONKEY FUCK!

Similar to:

What the fuck / Oh My God / Da Fuck is u sayin

holy monkey fuck by Kouzelne Prsty September 3, 2016

chinese monkey fuck 

Chinese monkey fuck Is when A a male jumps around like a chinese monkey and shoves his penis in another persons eyeball and then dips his finger in peanut butter and shoves it up the asshole

1Hey bro I just chinese monkey fucked you!

2 Hey lets go chinese monkey fuck samantha

chinese monkey fuck by Hi firends September 16, 2013

double header purple monkey fuck 

The act of smoking a cigarette and just before your done you light another cigarette using the cherry from the first cigarette then smoke the second one.

Looks like our smoke break is a extended today. Plenty of time for a double header purple monkey fuck.

double header purple monkey fuck by fLeers March 17, 2013

douche hatted fuck monkey

A person who exceeds the limits of douche baggery. Often times used to describe the most hated person in a class or group of people.

Mike drank all my booze and didn't pay a dime for it. He's such a douche hatted fuck monkey

douche hatted fuck monkey by Kidl154 September 10, 2014

fuck monkey

A fuck monkey is a rude and irritating person. They usually are someone who touch people in weird and aggravating ways. (Such as flicking them or slapping their neck randomly.) They are usually very loud as well.

Kyle: *walks by Peter and slaps his neck*
Peter: Screw you, fuck monkey!

fuck monkey by SlutVista March 10, 2016

fuck monkey

A girl who looks like she'll fulfill every sordid whim.
Used as a very simple scale:
Fuck Monkey or Sex Pixie.
Fuck Monkey: Usually in their late teens or early twenties, F.A.B. (firm and bendy).
Sex Pixie: As above, but not as obvious in their intent.

Oi! lads check out the fuck monkey at the bar. I bet she'll go around the world.

fuck monkey by Dom Drums April 19, 2006

fuck monkey

A way of calling some one stupid or a sex slave.

You stupid fuck monkey.

Hes my little fuck monkey.

fuck monkey by Dare Devil February 19, 2003