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bruh at least you didn't board the wrong flight and somehow end up in fucking ulaanbaatar 

Person A: Bank of Queensland suspended my card by complete mistake lol
Person B: bruh at least you didn't board the wrong flight and somehow end up in fucking ulaanbaatar
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If the world doesn't end in 2012 

This phrase can be attached to virtually any sentence, as a way to express potentially impending danger for the sake of being accurate.
Student 1: So when do you graduate?
Student 2: 2014...that is, if the world doesn't end in 2012...
Student 1: What gives you that strange idea?
Student 2: Its what the Mayans predicted, and they've been right about a lot of stuff.

I got lost in the bushes and ended up down a dirt road. 

when attempting intercourse you mistaken put your penis in a woman's ass intead of her vagina.
"Hey man, last night was so crazy! I was getting it on with Melissa and I went to stick it in but I got lost in the bushes and ended up down a dirt road."
"What did she say to that?"
"All she said was, 'Wrong hole but keeping going'!"

two ends in the middle

Running between two sides of a situation--bad-mouthing the opposing side to gain their trusts--to see who comes out on top.
"Look at that fool playing 'two ends in the middle' with those crews; No integrity, no honor."

but my vision ends with the apple in the tree

This is a verse of a song named "Your love"
Adam and Eve were living their perfect life in Gods perfect Garden. UNTIL...
Eve had to go and take this forbidden fruit from a tree God said to not eat from. As we all know, the fruit is normally referred to as an apple. After this, Eve and Adam got separated.
I think Nicki said that everything was perfect till she s***wed everything up.

Now, this probably means "My dream/wish/vision was that we were still together. (after all)
X:-but my vision ends with the apple in the tree
A-No, I won't forgive you

Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because she was so endowed in the trench that she was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles 

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Zero: Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because she was so endowed in the trench that she was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles

Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because he was so endowed in the trench that he was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles 

.
Zero: Dear to whomever it has triggered, Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hand and killed by feet because he was so endowed in the trench that he was laid to rest so a male can portray the rest. Sincerely yours, Angel Jose Robles