That's Not What Your Mom Said in Bed Last Night 

A comeback that people say when someone says, " I bet you are terrible at sex." Or other comebacks. Then that person would come back and say, " That's not what your Mom said in bed last night."

Guy #1: Your dick is probably the size of half of a raisin.
Guy#2: That's not what your Mom said in bed last night.

That's Not What Your Mom Said in Bed Last Night by jazmine1 April 19, 2018

That's not what she said

what she wouldn't say.

unlike the common "that's what she said jokes", that's not what she said can be used when describing an act that she wouldn't do or something she wouldn't like. a reverse innuendo. because a normal audience is thrown off by this, it often results in a more uncomfortable situation.

m: we should bring back the "that's not what she said"

k: I am sure it won't be hard.
(that's not what she said)

m: Yeah, I know, but sometimes you're just not in the mood to do something that hard.

(That is not what she said)

k: This exchange could go on for ages. We need to stop.
(That is not what she said)

m: good call. it is never a good idea to stay up all night doing it.
(that is not what she said)

That's not what she said by kn and mk August 16, 2010

that's not what your mother said last night 

similar to that's the sound your mother made last night. it also originated from SNL celebrity jeopardy. it was said by Sean Connery and is just another sexual innuendo.

Sean Connery: It's been a long time, Trebek.
Trebek: Not long enough.
Sean Connery: That's not what your mother said last night!

that's not what your mother said last night by gorillaguy987 May 23, 2009

that's not what I asked 

The ultimate come back and douche bag saying in any applicable situation.

It can properly be said at any time the yes/no question asked is not directly and simply answered with a "yes" or in some instances, a "no."

This saying may or may not be accompanied with a sacktap.

James: "Hey Nick did you buy beer for tonight?"
Nick: "Well I went to the liquor store but I didn't have my wall--"
James: "That's not what i asked dipshit" (followed by a sacktap)

that's not what I asked by dopplemire November 8, 2010

It’s not what it looks like! 

Caught having ifyk but someone walks in..
this a joke btw

Stranger walks in” It’s not what it looks like! Stranger leaves frighten

It’s not what it looks like! by lila🥰 March 22, 2021

That's NOT What She Said

The opposite of "That's What She Said"; when an innocent statement is interpreted sexually - lack of sexual skill, small pecker, etc. - when in fact the statement refers to something else

P-Phat: Dude, what do you think of my new loft?

MOCO: Dude, it's so small

P-Phat: That's NOT What She Said!

That's NOT What She Said by MOCO & P-Phat May 28, 2008

It's not what you've got, it's how you use it. 

One of the go to phrases that women and gay men tell men of smaller to average penis endowment. This is to ensure that he does not feel insecure, especially before, during and after sex.

The second biggest fable next to Santa Claus.

The one guy that I have been wanting sex with...the stars finally aligned and we were able to be alone and let nature take its course last night. Well I should know that somethings are too good to be true. The whole experience turned out to be a it's not what you've got, it's how you use it. Why is it everytime I tell a guy that I feel like I just told my daughter that there is no Santa..

fable white lie

It's not what you've got, it's how you use it. by TheBigCanucklehead March 21, 2015