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St Kilda Beach late at night on a first date

When you're on a first date with this guy you met online who you kept fobbing off because you were too busy/tired/off with other unimpressionable tools, and after trollololing together you start making out on St Kilda beach like a really classy clungey whore and get very very randy... and these foreigners come and start sight seeing of and all around you and your dick bag of a date just as you're beginning not to care whose looking because you just want to get raped in public not even in the bushes. Except you don't and go home because you have to get up for work at 6am.
"Hey Emily, I was kissing a boy on St Kilda beach late at night on a first date and could've had some good rape or gone back to his for rape but I have a shitty shitty job at 7am on a Sunday morning!!!"

"Lucky coq then St Kilda Beach late at night on a first date? Dick yeah!!"

"Hey slappa I had sand all up in my clunge when I got home!"

"Blue balled? Me too."
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A Suicide Date 

A Suicide Date is when you date someone so horrible, or so unbearable they make you want to kill yourself because they make your suffering that much more miserable
No, Wait! Johnny Don't take that cyanide!

Sorry Tim, just went on a Suicide Date and now I wanna fucking die

Dates like a Mormon college

To only date young people. "Bring 'em young" Drawn from the actual Mormon college BYU (Brigham Young University).
Mike: What's that MILF doing at Joey's party? Do you think he banged her?

Stan: No dude, he dates like a Mormon college.

life is two dates and a dash 

When you go on a date with a women and on the second date you get her pregnant so you make a run for it.
On my second date I got my girl pregnant so I moved to Canada.

life is two dates and a dash