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dump on wood 

The act of defecating on a tree or similar piece of wood. Used as an insult.
Alex can go dump on wood if he thinks I'm gonna pay him back for that hooker he bought me.
dump on wood by Alex Dumpance January 28, 2009

Dancing on Wood

Another word for grinding ; meaning when a girl dirty dances on a guy making him hard as wood
Woman 1: How was the club last night?

Woman 2: Great I was dancing on wood all night!

knock on wood 

1. A phrase used to express that something will or will not happen. This expression alludes to the ages-old superstition that literally knocking on wood would ward off evil spirits.
2. To masturbate, said of males.
(made-up scene from GTA San Andreas)

(at the beach)

Kent Paul: (ogling a hot girl come out of the water) Oi Maccer, just take a look at what just breezed out of the blue. That height, that arse, those jugs, those curves! Blimey if I'd be given the chance now I'd get to chuck my junk in that, knock on wood!
Maccer: Indeed man! Knock on wood, eh. Well alright then! *starts masturbating*
Kent Paul: No, jack-off Jimmy, not... ohh, *mumbles* fucking Northeners!

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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary slang author since February 2004.
knock on wood by Mark H October 10, 2005

The Knock on Wood Card 

The Knock on Wood Card is a wooden card that's perfect to knock on if you don't have any other wood around.
Ian "I've never gotten a speeding ticket. Knock on Wood...wait there's no wood around!"
Jed "Oh yes there is, check out The Knock on Wood Card!"
Ian "That's dope, thanks Jed!"
The Knock on Wood Card by icwish October 10, 2009

Ur mom jumping on wood 

This means ur mom having sex on an erect penis. Very informal.
Henry- ur mum
Peter- ur mom jumping on wood
Henry- I’ll look that up in the urban dictionary