tea bitch
Person with particular gifts for preparation and distribution of boiled leaf-based domestic beverages (see 'Tea'), whose key role in life is provision of said product to peers and superiors in response to simple imperatives such as 'make tea, bitch.' or 'oi, bitch, make Tea!') Necessary conditions include a hat that says 'Tea Bitch', and the propensity to dispute obligatory nature of teabitchery (e.g. by replying in the negative, with or without physical hand gestures) until offered appropriate alternatives such as a firm but kindly-meant slapping, or being sat on by someone passing flatulence. The term 'bitch', whilst most commonly applied to the female of the species, is in this unique context equally appropriate to either gender, so long as they a) have the hat, and b) will make tea.
Examples of a 'tea bitch' hat may be found at theboolery.co.uk, in the message board under 'tea bitchery', along with a pattern to print and make your own.
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