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Special Needs Goose 

The name by which we must now refer to the animal formerly known as the Mongoose.
Me: Look, son - that's called a mongoose.
Zoo Employee: Excuse me - but you can't say that.
Me: Huh?
Zoo Employee: It's a Special Needs Goose.
Me: For fuck's sake.

Special Needs Donkey 

A human being who is so inept that their intelligence is below that of not just a donkey, but a donkey with special needs.

Can be shortened to "SND".
"Did you hear that question Special Needs Donkey just asked me? How does he even dress himself in the morning?"

"My boss is such an SND; I can't believe he got me to help him dial the phone."

Special Needs Friends 

One of those friends that can't seem to do anything without your help.
Tony is one of those Special Needs Friends that can't even break up with someone without assistance.

I'm not inviting any of my Special Needs Friends to this party, because I want to have some fun.
Special Needs Friends by connicka January 29, 2012

special needs haircut 

One of the best possible pranks you can pull on someone who gets too drunk and falls asleep at a party. Various forms are possible but depend largely on the pre-existing haircut, the position the recipient has passed out in, how unconscious they are and the hair cutting devices available.

The classic is the bowl cut - hair above the ears is left untouched, hair below the ears is badly shaved down to about number 2. Ths should ideally be lopsided with a meander at the back of the head for maximum "specialness".

nb. it is a mortal sin to pull this prank on a woman due partly to the fact that all women everywhere will feel such sympathy for her that you will never get laid again, but mostly because women should never, ever have short hair.
Dude 1: Urgh, where am I? What time is it?

Dude 2: *Laughs uncontrollably*

Dude 1: (touching head) What? Huh? Why's my head shaved? Where's the mirr... A FUCKING SPECIAL NEEDS HAIRCUT??

Special Needs Relationship 

The current state of the "Special Relationship" between Trump's America and Brexit Britain, both having gotten largely out of hand in the last two years.
US: I don't know which one of us is dumber now, you with Brexit or us with Trump.
UK: Actually, we're both pretty fucked, mate. The Special Relationship has really become the Special Needs Relationship now.

special needs manchild 

someone who always gets it wrong, every time!!! They will legit slip over anything from a leaf to a banana skin. They don't actually have a special need but act like they do, they also make terrible jokes that are often REALLY screwed up. They often spontaniously combust, this is believed to be God's work wiping up evolution's mistakes...
hello large cliff, i'm a special needs manchild. Oh look, a banana skin! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(you know what happened next)