Crabsolutely

When you absolutely have crabs.

Karen: Um...Jim...Do you have crabs?
Jim: Crabsolutely!

Crabsolutely by SmilesMcGee January 31, 2009

Crapsolutely perfect 

Sarcastic expression used when a situation turns out exactly wrong or in the most inconvenient, frustrating, or disastrous way possible.

This concert was so bad, it was crapsolutely perfect.

Crapsolutely perfect by TexasDragon76 September 5, 2025

Crapsolutely perfect 

When a situation turns out “perfect” in the absolute worst way possible. Usually said with heavy sarcasm to highlight how everything went wrong, yet managed to line up with irritating precision.

“Oh, the car broke down in the rain, my phone’s dead, and I left my wallet at home. Crapsolutely perfect.”

Crapsolutely perfect by TexasDragon76 September 5, 2025

Capsolutely 

Capsolutely (adjective): A blend of "cap" and "absolutely," used to emphasize complete dishonesty or exaggeration, often in response to an unbelievable or false claim.

"That story you're telling is capsolutely false—there's no truth to it!"

Capsolutely by DoowMatt December 21, 2024