to spank the monkey 

to masturbate... to do the the dirty deed, in a few words to deal with your sexual needs by yourself

Guy 1: How did it go last night?
Guy 2: Not so good, so I had to spank the monkey!

to spank the monkey by Monkey Business March 18, 2011

Not to Spank The Monkey 

A way of saying not to beat around bush or I’m not bull shitting you.

Not to spank the monkey but you are really pretty.

Not to Spank The Monkey by Skibidi D June 21, 2024