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fried, dyed, and laid to the side 

refers to over permed, over colored, overstyled hair. This style usually found on those over the age of 30
damn, her hair looks fried, dyed, and laid to the side. she needs to start over...whew!

fried, died and laid to the side 

Someone who is unattractive in a unnecessary manner.
I went to meet a dude named Cardel and he was fried, died and laid to the side.

Side saddle with shots fired 

Reverse cowgirl position but with legs not over but under him on the side. Each receiving a finger surprise, like finger gun or pulling the trigger.
She was riding me half on then went into a side saddle then she pointed her finger gun me and holstered or fired it in my doo hole! Side saddle with shots fired.